Talk Nerdy To Me’s @StaffWriter:
Texting can be a great way to get to know someone, but it’s easy to get stuck texting forever. Before you know it, you’re in a “texting relationship”. That can really suck.
You might want to move the relationship forward, but you don’t know-how.
Therefore, in this article, we’ll share the ten best ways to move a texting relationship forward.
1) Limit Texting
It may sound counterintuitive, but limiting texting can actually move a texting relationship forward.
For example, if you’re texting too much, say something like “I love chatting, but I need to get back to a project. Let’s talk again soon!”
If your texting is sparse or sporadic, it will communicate that you have a busy life and are not always available. This will encourage the other person to ask you out on a date so he or she can spend more time with you.
2) Always End Texts With Flirtatiousness
Flirtatiousness at the end of texts can give someone fond feelings toward you and get him or her thinking about how amazing it would be to go out on a date with you. For example: ‘Have fun tonight! :)’ ‘I’m so happy you’re in my life. :)”
Flirting keeps the conversation positive and fun.
If the other person wants to keep the fun going, they may just ask you to meet in person.
3) End Texts With An Excited Message
Ending your texts with an exciting message is another good way to develop fond feelings toward someone and get him or her thinking about how great it would be to go out on a date with you. For example: “I can’t stop thinking about you. Can’t wait to see you in person.”
4) Bring Up Your Future Plans
Bringing up the fact that you have future plans when chatting will help move the texting relationship forward because it’s a subtle hint that having future plans implies commitment. So if your texting partner doesn’t ask for a date after this, he or she might not be ready for a long-term commitment.
You can go a step further by trying to set up a specific in-person date.
Text something like, “Would you like to go see a comedy show this weekend?” Bonus points if you invite them to something you know they would like to do. If they are really into movies, invite them to a movie.
If they love books, go visit a cool local bookstore together.
5) Bring Up What You’re Doing
Bringing up how you’re spending your time gives the other person the opportunity to ask if they can join you. For example, you could text, “I’m spending the weekend at the art galleries.” They could respond with something like, “Lucky you. Would you mind some company?”
By sharing your activities, you also show that you have a busy life that is fun and interesting.
6) Ask About His or Her Day
Asking about his or her day will give him or her an opportunity to explain what they’re doing and give them a chance to show off their personality. It also allows them to ask about your life. For example: “What was your favorite part of your day so far?”
7) Use Jokes & Stories To Make The Other Person Feel Comfortable With You
Make sure that both of you are comfortable with each other. The more comfortable you feel, the more likely they will ask you out in person. Jokes and stories are a great way to build comfort.
You can swap childhood stories, embarrassing stories, and favorite jokes.
8) Don’t Use Texting To Get To Know Each Other
Texting is great for starting conversations and planning the logistics (time, place, location) of actual in-person dates. It’s easy to use texting as a platform for getting to know the other person.
Some of this is probably fine (and necessary to build comfort). However, if you find yourself endlessly texting for hours, you’re not doing (your relationship any favors.
Limit texting to short interactions where you plan in-person get-togethers.
You can text something like, “I really want to hear all about your trip to Houston. How about you show me your photos over coffee this week?”
9) Scale In Strategic Stages
Jumping straight to in-person dates can seem sudden to some people. Instead, slowly advance your relationship in strategic stages. Move from texting to phone calls.
Talking on the phone is more personal and lets you quickly know if there is enough real-time chemistry with the other person. If a phone call goes well, set a time for a video call.
You can even plan a video “date” where you play a game together or watch something together. Video calls escalate intimacy and connection because you can both see and hear the other person.
If the video call goes well, keep scaling with a live, in-person date.
10) Don’t Fall Back Into Old Patterns
One of the hardest parts of moving a texting relationship forward is not sliding back into old texting patterns. Once you move to calls, video calls, and in-person dates, don’t start texting like crazy again.
Texting can easily replace more intimate and connected intimacy.
You’ll probably want to limit texting even after your first few dates. Once you enter into a committed and exclusive relationship, you can text a bit more. However, it’s still recommended to keep texting to a minimum.
What To Do If The Other Person Only Wants To Keep Texting
Despite all of your best efforts, some girls and guys only want to text. They are not interested in anything beyond texting. In this case, it’s in your interest to end things with the other person.
The two of you simply are not compatible.
There is a possibility that once you end things, they might come around to a real relationship. But I wouldn’t count on it.
Either way, you’re better off investing your time and energy in someone who wants to text less and see you in person more. Cutting ties is not always easy – especially if you really like other person.
Yet, it’s the best way to honor yourself and your relationship goals.
Don’t fall into a texting trap with someone who doesn’t want to date you in real life.