<EditorsNote> Some details in this post have to be changed to protect the innocent and unfortunately the guilty. </EditorsNote>
I cannot stress to you how strange it is to go to a therapy appointment and then receive the awareness of a medical diagnosis that not one, not two, not three, but four of your senses are abnormal.
I’m finally over the anger stage of WTF how have I lived this long without knowing that I am not only autistic (technically speaking a late diagnosed Aspergarian) and have a condition called synesthesia.
Which I found out a lot of other people have too!!
Oh yeah, and I used the superpowers of synesthesia (I’m seeing it as a superpower now) to identify a conman, er, conwoman.
It’s really sad how much of a generational “miss” there has been in terms of autism. I found out recently there’s a (still growing) large movement of specifically women who discovered late in life they are autistic yet still have not received a proper diagnosis because medical professionals are still not all “sold” that women can have autism.
::insert pregnant pause here to let that sink in for a second.::
I’m not kidding all of this “is a thing” and after working with the Human Lie Detector (who was a crock of shit), last week I called countless autism centers just to confirm (in person) what type of autism I have as I no longer trust the source of the information.
If you can’t trust a Human Lie Detector who CAN you trust. 🤣🤣🤣
I believe I have Aspergers, and after countless days (not hours) of research (one of my favorite things to do)…
… i very very much fit the bill as a highly functioning autistic person.
Girls and boys experience autism very differently.
A 2005 Stanford study states: “Girls and boys with autism differ in their clinical and neurobiological characteristics, and their brains are patterned in ways that contribute differently to behavioral impairments,” Menon said.
“The discovery of gender differences in both behavioral and brain measures suggests that clinicians may want to focus diagnosis and treatments for autistic girls differently than boys,” Supekar added.
and girls are better at masking certain behavior because they are aware that they are different than their peers.
I can’t speak for everyone but growing up, I wanted to be a “good girl” and to do that, I had to suppress what my instincts were to fit into a societal so-called norm.
Yeah, I can’t operate in any sort of “normal adjacent mode” which makes sense why I had a nervous breakdown at 22, and an epileptic seizure at 32.
I hyper excelled in almost everything when I was younger (except math).
At 18 months, I was talking like a four year old, and at age two, I started typing.
A six year typing veteran by age 8, I then started my own computer consulting company.
I had many failed attempts as a serial entrepreneur around age 6. I really did try to sell lemonade. If only our street wasn’t so busy …
WHO FINDS A FASTER WAY TO GET THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL?!?! I did it in three years?!?!! I was so curious I had taken too many classes?!!?!
WHO DOES THAT?!!
I’m really angry that I feel like the “system” failed (both in terms of autism and synesthesia), but I’m aware now that I have a choice.
I can sit here … fuming … trying to figure out the words to describe how differently I see things, or I can just live my life and figure it out as I go.
i then thought, why don’t i create a synesthetic auditing system? (sas for short) the objective is to figure out what causes what?
I spent the next week asking everyone around me if they smelled what I smelled when I smelled it or heard what I heard when I heard it.
My “sight” and “taste” with synesthesia maps differently.
With smells and sounds, I hear and smell them through my nose and ears. It sounds and smells the same as something “normal.”
With “sight” and “taste” I know I am not actually “seeing” or “eating” with my eyes or mouth. The sight and tastes just occur, and I’m not labeling them, I’m merely aware of their presence – it pings a part of my brain.
<tangent> Which is also interesting to note, that my entire life I haven’t had a good sense of smell or taste naturally. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I started to date Jeff (who is admittedly a plant that smells everything) and he would comment “how can you not smell that?” And I’d say honestly, that I don’t!
I eat really spicy foods, because I find most foods are bland. I’m not entirely sure what the connection is there, but I do think it has to do with synesthesia. </tangent>
“Did anyone else just hear the sound of a Microsoft Windows 98 performance of an illegal operation?” I said on Fat Tuesday at my gf’s Mardi Gras party.
“No,” they both said, “but we believe you heard it!”
“I hear a lot more than I realized,” I said to Jeff the next night over dinner. I think this is why headphones are so calming to me.”
What do you think triggers it? he asked.
I don’t think there is a “cause.” Maybe I’m too early into my audit, but I feel like all of this is a waste of time.
Talk about something that has a mind of its own.
In the same week, I woke up to the sound of thunder on a perfectly gorgeous Los Angeles day, heard an illegal operation being performed on a 24 year old computer system, and clicks and clacks of (what sounds to me like) a room settling … in a room that is apparently perfectly settled!
i can’t ‘control’ synesthesia, i just have to figure out how to not let it overwhelm me so i can use it as a superpower.
A superpower that doesn’t come with a manual!!
“It’s my sight that is the most interesting, or at least the one I’m most aware of.”
“You do call a lot of things out about people.”
“Yeah, but I don’t mean to. Meaning, I’m not processing conscious thought and then saying it. I’m hearing it for the first time as the words are coming out of my mouth … in a very blunt capacity.”
“But what about the time you called me out from the other side of a wall, he asked?
During the pandemic (which I think we’re still technically in? Question mark?), we had built a fort inside our living room, and I was laying in it when Jeff went to the fridge (in the kitchen on the other side of a very thick wall) and asked if I wanted a hamburger?
The words had barely escaped his mouth before I said, “what’s wrong with it.”
Jeff (who does most of the grocery shopping) had purchased an Impossible Burger and hid it from me in the fridge. His plan was going to be to serve it as a surprise to see if I could tell the difference.
Spoiler Alert: I didn’t need a burger to tell me I could tell the difference.
He continued, “you did that somehow based on sound, not vision.”
Yeah, but I can’t rule out that I didn’t notice something visually in you first while inside the fort (or walking away from it).
i love how scientific this adult conversation got all while talking about being in a fort.
Later that week, I forced myself out of the apartment and forced myself to start taking meetings again.
One woman had been emailing (rather relentlessly) since I first posted about the Gang Stalking, she was someone I met at a tech conference ten or so years ago.
Upon first meeting, she told me (confidentially) that she was part of a trust fund, and now wanted to specifically invest in female entrepreneurs.
“Your stories are incredible,” she said over email. “How can we build something together to help you with your re-launch? I’d love to hear your thoughts over lunch.”
Forcing myself into socialization, we met up the next day.
She looked exactly the same as I remembered and since I follow her on the Gram, I knew about her travels around the world (which I thought was strange/douchey to do during a pandemic).
I asked about the complexities of understanding restrictions in each state and country, while she just brushed it off as being something “someone else handled for her.”
… i just let her go on.
All throughout the lunch, she kept love bombing me (more on that in a minute).
“Your writing!! It’s so incredible!! And your style!! Wow, you’ve really upped your game!!”
For those who (like myself until recently) don’t know what this means: Love bombing can be described as “an attempt to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection. We’re not just talking about romantic gestures, like flowers and trips. Love bombing invariably includes lots of romantic conversation, long talks about “our future,” and long periods of staring into each other’s eyes. It’s the combination of words and deeds that makes love bombing so powerful, especially considering today’s technology.”
I have what is called a “resting processing face,” (RPF for short).
I just stare when I am processing something, and in that moment I was really confused why she was complimenting me SO MUCH.
We already knew each other, and I get it when investors are excited, it’s a beautiful thing to see … but I didn’t say I was fundraising, I simply said I’d take the lunch.
She then started to use the word “we” as “we” can do this, and I have this friend that does that, and have you thought about this? I think that that will be GREAT!”
She asked to hear my thoughts, but barely let me speak.
Line item by line item she listed off her ideas, part of which involved Talk Nerdy, and the other part … I’m not even sure she knew what she was talking about.
Having not been around people for a while, her excitement was confusing.
I kept my RPF in check, and forced a few smiles out before she said she would introduce me to her financial guy who manages her trust.
“he represents x celebrity, y politician, and … most importantly … me!”
I laughed internally at how ridiculous she sounded as I intentionally “tuned into” what shape I saw around her.
Having never tried this before intentionally, I immediately began seeing a coin. A coin that showed one side and then another. It kept flipping – rapidly and upright.
I was surprised at the detailing I was seeing.
I normally don’t “see” details, just the outline.
This is new, I thought but didn’t say.
You know the coins from the opening of Ducktales? It was that EXACT color, but shiny and had the detailing of a quarter on the sides.
I then went home and told Jeff about the red flags I saw.
I’m not saying it’s a no yet, but I need to create a “fail safe” on people.
I’ve been gang stalked, sought the help of a Human Lie Detector to profile it, only to have him turn into my trauma therapist and THEN discovered he was accused of kidnapping a little girl only after he wanted me to go into military grade training on body language.
I tend to go from 0-100 when I’m excited about something.
I need to treat everyone I “meet” or involve myself with (in any way) like they are a stranger.
I don’t care who you say you are or how we know each other, I’m going to do my own research.
“That’s a strong suit for you.”
Later that night, I googled all of the people she said her finance guy worked with.
i did in fact see x celebrity with y politician … i just didn’t see the alleged “most important client” herself!
That’s not unusual, I said remembering back to my days as an Online Reputation Manager and that two boyfriends ago also paid money to hide from searches.
He paid 10K a month to hide (happily), and I remember what his “plan” included.
I couldn’t guarantee she hasn’t done the same thing. Especially if she is who she says she is, it would almost make more sense for her to do that than to allow herself to be found.
Remaining neutral, I then searched for (let’s call her) “Trust Fund’s” name directly.
“Trust Fund’s” name ranked but the content wasn’t related to her – which I thought was strange.
Two boyfriends ago had listings “related to him” they were just puff placement on sites with high domain authority.
I then looked up her bio on the Gram and specifically all of the places she labels as her “home.”
✈️ LA/ MIA/ NYC/ [Insert final town’s name here].
I cut and pasted “Trust Fund’s” name with “Los Angeles.”
“Trust Fund’s” name with “Miami.”
“Trust Fund’s” name with “New York” (and specifically each borough).
I wasn’t getting a single hit – which I thought was odd.
I had seen press photos of her on the Gram so one and one wasn’t equalling two.
I then googled “Trust Fund’s” final town listed, and got a match, not on the exact town but the county.
The county’s newspaper had picked up on the town’s arrest record for someone who had “Trust Fund’s” name.
Still, this doesn’t mean that “Trust Fund” is the one who got arrested. To further identify you need either a DOB or photo.
I then clicked the link, which very clearly showed a photo of her standing outside of a private jet chartered by a man she had conned out of millions (the headline wasn’t specific with how much).
Talk about the proof being in the pudding, I thought.
And also funny she never posted any pictures from inside or outside the plane herself.
Normally that’s the first thing people do outside of private planes.
I then researched the county she was jailed in (which thankfully had an online inmate search – as some do not) and found over 25 different arrests in the last 20 years, including five restraining orders that had been filed.
I knew that in the state of California, you have to check different variations of the name and DOB.
For example, El Senor Dick with the Brick has a very generic name. Sometimes it’s listed as Jon Doe. Other times it’s listed as John Doey. I have to look at the DOB, but even then, sometimes it gets mis-entered as 1/2/1960, or 2/1/1960.
it’s not easy, but you can hypothesize that more likely than not it is him and general user error.
What was interesting in her case, they had (what I would call) a unique QR code for HER specific listing.
I’ve unfortunately spent more time researching inmates than I care to admit, BUT I WAS SO IMPRESSED!!! Good job, unnamed county police station!! This was INCREDIBLY easy to pin on her without question. </tangent>
That’s why her online reputation management is the way that it is.
also, what idiot pays someone for online reputation management in search only to out yourself on the gram.
God criminals are so stupid.
I told Jeff later that night that I was right! I just didn’t understand what I was seeing!
“What do you mean,” he asked?
I saw a coin as her shape (which is weird because I’ve never seen a symbol before – normally it’s a cookie cutter shape). It kept turning showing two sides back and forth. I thought it was because she has a public and private life, and instead it’s because she literally leads a double life.
she’s a con, and i saw it before involving myself!! that’s huge progress!!!
“And you found a way to use your superpower to help you.”
“I mean, if a coin appeared in front of someone in front of your face, you’d pay attention too!
And thank you, I need to stop deflecting with humor and owning the fact that I HAVE SUPERPOWERS!!”
Speaking of deflection …
<FunFact> The term “confidence man” (usually shortened to “con”), first came into use in 1849, when the New York Herald published a story about the arrest of William Thompson, entitled, “Arrest of the Confidence Man.” Thompson would approach strangers on the street, talk a while with them, and then ask if they had “confidence in [him] to trust [him] with [their] watch until to-morrow.” The victims would then give Thompson their expensive watches, believing him to be an acquaintance they didn’t remember. </FunFact>
I shine, and while that naturally attracts some whackadoodle noodles, I’m done feeling any sort of shame over it.
NOTHING will stop me from being who I am and doing EXACTLY what I want to do.
… and the next thing i wanted to do was stop wasting a millisecond more of my time thinking about this person.
I decided instead of confronting her on the information I had found, I would flip the tables and make it seem like she was the one who needed the money (WHICH HILARIOUSLY IS THE CASE).
This is what I sent …
She didn’t respond back, and I’m assuming she’s already off to galavant in another city as she’s changed her bio on the Gram and turned her account to private.
i did it!! i stopped one!!
Now I just need to figure out a way to turn the coin I saw into a mosquito repellent. One bite out of bloodsuckers at a time …
it’s like the opposite of the backstreet boys song “as long as you love me.”
::sings:: I don’t care who you are … where you’re from … what you did … as long as you stay away from me.