#TBT: That time I accidentally met Robin Williams ... while stalking @EnriqueIglesias
I then walked off the elevator and into the pool area sans any sort of guard or checkin (like she promised).
When you're crashing something, all you have to do is look like you have a deliberate purpose. I couldn't just walk in and ask "WHERE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE?" I had to play it cool, and first act like I belonged there.
#RealDeal: What's your fantasy (that time I catfished a celebrity only to be catfished myself the next day)?
Wanting to shake things up a bit, I asked if he was any good at skeeball.
"I don't know how to play," he admitted.
"Let me teach you," I said.
Six games, a 100 point rim shot, and 380 score later, the student had become the master.
#RealDeal: I went to prom and took molly in front of Moby
I then quickly slid the loose wristband off and walked back outside. Pro tip: when a bouncer of any kind is putting on a wristband, explain to them you feel "claustrophobic" if it's on too tight. When it's loose, you can slide it right off your wrist and pass it to someone else. Before you pass it though, make sure you say "one second, I'll be right back" to the security guard so they have a visual memory of you and you can reenter sans the band. It doesn't work every time, but 9/10, you're good.
#RealDeal: 50 Shades of Friel (that time I became a FinDomme)
... got kicked out of a (coincidentally) crypto-event-based happy hour ... tried talking my way out of it (with a full plate of every food they were offering at the buffet later) ... epically failed ... only to walk back over to the table and ask my friends confused wondering "what gave me away?" My new "girlfriend" and I happened to be stopped by a group of guys as we were leaving, so I wondered if security thought we were "working the event?"
Considering our happy hour tab was SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARSI kinda wish I was "working it."(We had a big group but not SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS big.) Only not selling my body for sex. Cause, that's kinda not my thing. BUT I was a findomme once. And yes, that actually IS a thing.
#RealDeal: The boomerang effect of boundaries (its been six years, I'm super okay with you not being in my life anymore dude)
I'm sad that I have to write this post.
I'm sad that I had to write the letter that I wrote.
I'm sad that I'm sad but I accept that.
Besides, I've learned in my old age that it's what I do next that counts ...
#NerdsUnite: A tale of three acid trips (& one very true story)
I ate a dinner cooked by none other than Patti LaBelle. Independently an AMAZING sentence to write, but to be served soul food from a soul singer while in an EXACT MOMENT I was doing some soul searching ... that was awesome. (It's turkey leg and lima beans ... I'm not sure what else was it in, but it all ended up in my belly.)
#NerdsUnite: Hi @Britneyspears ... We heart you too.
Suddenly, the boost in traffic totally made sense.
#NerdsUnite: The cost of "whatever it takes" ... is it actually worth it?
"So what has Jen Friel been up to?" she asked as we sat down for an impromptus happy hour (my office happens to be across the street from her building).
With a straight face, and little to no emotion I said, "I've experienced a fundamental shift in the last 30 days, I'm ready to get married and have babies."
YAY!! She said super excited.
My actions weren't mirrored, and without an actual mirror, I'll just have to assume that my face looked something like this ...
#Fetish: I had read this one on Urban Dictionary, but yep, it's actually "a thing!"
If someone had to play him in a movie it would be Eric Dane’s tanner cousin from South Africa (+1 for the accent, swoon!). He had a squint in his eye that could mean 1) he’s been in the sun for too long, or 2) he was attempting to be aloof.
Focusing on my own bottom lines (and not his), I asked if he could tell me more about his world. I grew up fishing, I admitted, but know nothing about commercial fishing and the business models of charters; I want to learn.
Why don’t you come by at 4:30 tomorrow morning. I have a charter, and we’re going out to catch tuna.