#WTF: Even when I date a chick, I still wind up being the dude.
A few months back, I found myself in a cheeky conundrum; I wanted to have sex, but didn't want to actually have to go through the process of dating someone. I'm on people overload, man. I TALK TO SO MANY PEOPLE BEING IN THE OFFICE, and then going out, and the IDEA of then having to talk about what I JUST experienced on a daily basis to another living being is my equivalent of personal hell.
#Fact: Scientists have proven that sex helps unblock your nose
The Ig Nobel Prize 2021 awards were handed out last night (via webcast due to COVID) and my favorite of them all was the Medicine Prize awarded to Olcay Cem Bulut and colleagues, for demonstrating that sexual orgasms can be as effective as decongestant medicines at improving nasal breathing.
#NerdsUnite: Sex Toys Can Close The Orgasm Gap Once And For All
The orgasm gap is a highly contested phenomenon in the modern age. Simply put, the orgasm gap refers to the fact that in male-female sexual encounters the orgasm of the male is essentially guaranteed while the orgasm of the female is a bit more up in the air. Stack up this disparity in orgasms over a few dozen sexual encounters and we have ourselves a very legitimate and very easy to pinpoint orgasm gap.
#NerdsUnite: I'm a mistress in training, can you help me with my foot slave?
Step one in exploring any sort of fetish is to decide what you are comfortable with. It's not easy in the beginning (because how do you know what you want/like if you haven't experienced it), but I promise you, this will get easier.
Each slave that I had had very specific and different fetishes (all under the umbrella of being a foot fetish). I have had 8 in total over the years (with one that I met with but did not accept).
#ThatAmazingMomentWhen: I got stopped at TSA because of my dildo ... (did I mention this happened twice?)
By the time he began unzipping (this was only as far as he had gotten at this point), I paused him.
"Sir, I would like to go to the additional screening room," I said loudly.
One, because I'm pretty certain he was hard of hearing and two, because I wanted to be firm.
He looked confused at my request.
"This isn't for me," I explained. "It's for you."
#TBT: That time I accidentally met Robin Williams ... while stalking @EnriqueIglesias
I then walked off the elevator and into the pool area sans any sort of guard or checkin (like she promised).
When you're crashing something, all you have to do is look like you have a deliberate purpose. I couldn't just walk in and ask "WHERE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE?" I had to play it cool, and first act like I belonged there.
#BurningMan: That time I discovered the center of the universe and two days later my g-spot (PT 3 ... definitely #NSFW)
I then grabbed my phone (which happened to be right next to the center of the universe) and began recording a video (for shits and giggles just for us to have of what this bag actually looked like whenever we were sober again).
"IT LOOKS LIKE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE," I said in a shrill high pitch, POUNDING the couch cushion (which had been turned into a bed) "and I love how the center of the universe appeared in a backpack to two people in an RV at Burning Man."
#BurningMan: The release from intention detention (what Burning Man is actually like PT 2)
A big part of Burning Man is setting your intention going in, and mine was to find a husband. Albeit you can start a family without marriage, but as someone who is old-fashioned, it was something I definitely wanted. Inching closer to my middle 30s means that I have to start to make very serious decisions about my still (for now) fertile future.
I've purposefully spent the last year working on myself (as it takes two to tango and if I want an actual "man" I have to be a "woman" myself) making sure my side of the street was clean.
I can't confirm that I'm 100% there yet, but my friends were ready and willing to help in the process.
#BurningMan: That time being called a Virgin Burner was a "good thing" (kinda NSFW)
Besides, just because I made the decision to go to the Burn, didn't actually mean that I had any sort of ticket. Did I mention how difficult tickets are to get? (I actually learned that they release 50,000 tickets to any sort of "camp" that creates art ... tell you more about that in a second ... and the other around 30,000 to people who just want to attend.)
#NerdsUnite: That time I got stiffed (instead of getting something stiff)
Review after review spoke really ill of him. One review directly called him a "bully" and what a "horror he was to work for." Clearly, these are just disgruntled employees, I thought thinking the person I had just talked to seemed far from being a "bully." Depending upon how the date goes, I will tell him about his ORM (online reputation management) and offer help (if he asks), I thought.