What To Talk About on a First Date

Talk Nerdy To Me’s @StaffWriter:

If you've got a first date coming up with someone who's new, it can be tricky to think of what to say when you meet them for the first time. If you're nervous, try to resist engaging in too much small talk. Instead, ask them questions and make sure they're open-ended questions that require more than a "yes" or a "no" answer.

Here are some possible starters and other first-date talking tips.

Ask About Their Hobbies and Interests

Ask what they do for fun. People love talking about themselves, so you'll both have plenty to talk about if you get them started on their hobbies or personal interests. Make sure to follow up with questions about their hobbies so that they keep talking about one of their favorite topics.

Ask About Recent Experiences

Ask where they went last weekend. If it was in a different city, ask them if it was a business trip or a vacation. This will create a natural transition to what they do for work and how long they've been doing it.

This can keep a conversation going for a long time.

Ask About Their Last Great Experiences

For example, ask about their last great trip, lesson, relationship, or accomplishment. It can also be fun (and a bit "meta") to ask about their last great date. On the flip side, you can ask about the worst date they've ever experienced.

Just be sure to keep your conversation positive or trending in a positive direction.

Ask About Their Ideal Day

This is a more general question that will allow them to talk about what they do for fun, their priorities, as well as give you some insight into their personality. If they talk about family and friends, that shows that they highly value close relationships.

If they talk about being outdoors, that shows they enjoy doing active things.

Ask About Their Favorite Memory from Childhood

This is a good question because you get to find out about their life before the days of cell phones and social media. You might ask what kind of mischief they got into as a kid or if they had any odd hobbies growing up.

You can also ask follow-up questions like "What was your favorite toy?" or "Which friend would you say you were closest to in school?"

Ask About Their Biggest Pet Peeve

It's always interesting to hear the things that annoy other people. This question will give you insight into what might make them lose their temper or be less than impressed with you. If their biggest pet peeve is rudeness, be sure to keep your tone of voice and language positive throughout the conversation (and don't complain too much).

Ask About Their Favorite Holiday

You can get into this question pretty easily by asking what they did last year for Christmas or where they usually spend New Year's Eve.

For example, you can use their answer to jump into a larger question like "What's your favorite part about ____ [insert holiday]?" or "What is your least favorite part about ____ [insert holiday]?" If they have a negative opinion of a certain holiday, ask why.

In the same vein, you could also ask about which holiday they look forward to the most each year.

Ask About Their Favorite Sports Team

If you both happen to be sports fans, this is a great way to connect over something you have in common. It might help you find out if they're more into cheering or playing sports themselves. You can also ask them what their least favorite sports team is to get a conversation going.

Ask About What They Would Change About Their Country or City

This way, you can both share your thoughts on the best and worst parts of living where they live. This will give you an idea about their preferences as well as what matters most to them.

Ask About Their Favorite Meme

Ask what their favorite meme is, or what their interpretation of the latest viral video is. This will allow for some casual conversation that you can both have a laugh at. It's important to keep the conversation light, fun, and flirty.

You can also ask about what social media they use or don't use, or their favorite channels on YouTube.

Ask About Where They Grew Up

Ask where they grew up and lived. This question will help you understand what other cities and countries they've lived in, as well as give you insight into their childhood.

Whatever they say, follow up with questions such as, "Did you like growing up there?" or "What was your favorite thing about living there?"

Ask Them Fun Questions

To bring more fun and creativity into the mix, ask what top 3 things they would bring to a deserted island. You can learn about their sense of humor, as well as see what kind of survival skills they would bring to the table.

You never know when a first date will lead to a duo survival on a deserted island.

Ask About Their Job

This is a good question to ask because you'll learn more about their ambitions and career. You can even go further with this like asking them what their favorite part of the job is or if they plan to stay in that field.

You can also talk about their future career goals.

Ask About Their Pets

People love to talk about their pets. Then tell a story about your own. If you both have dogs, for example, this is a good way to get to know each other and bond over how much you love your furry friends.

You may find out that you have a shared love of pets.

Ask About Their Favorite Movie or TV Show

Ask what their favorite movie or TV show is right now. You can always follow up with "What's your favorite part of the show/movie", to which they might respond with something like "The twist at the end" or "The scene when they first kiss".

Either way, ask them why! This is a fun one.

Final Thoughts

And here's a bonus tip: If they seem like a great match for your particular needs and preferences, be sure to ask them what their ideal match is like so that you can tell pretty quickly if they're compatible with you.