I went from months ago begging the internet for help, to not only receiving it in a big way, but also a diagnosis of a health condition I did not realize I have.
I’m autistic, gifted, and differently abled.
Before I explain the military-grade training course (specifically on crisis management) I am going into, I wanted to acknowledge those who helped in the process.
One of those people who helped hugely was a television and film actor currently at an all-time ratings high (on TV).
You know him, and most likely have paid for one of his movies or shows.
he showed up outside our apartment one fateful evening.
“Do you mind if I come in?” he asked, commenting on how cool our apartment looked.
vaccination card check or not … when that guy shows up at your door … you let him in.
Picture it … Los Angeles … March 2021 …
Jeff and I were sitting on our couch watching one of our mutual acquaintances appear on their now (unfortunately) defunct cable show. The show itself was great, the network IMHO is the one that dropped the ball … but either way … we had just sent a video cheering them on with our honest commentary on the episode.
I then heard a THUD outside our door. A thud that didn’t indicate a package, but a person. One who didn’t belong there as our area of the hallway didn’t have any residents (at the time). #COVIDLIFE
<tangent> See earlier in the month, a (legitimately mentally ill) woman moved onto our floor. I had previously warned management that I had seen her do some really illogical things. I have a lot of empathy for mental illness (obviously), but the behavior I was witnessing I considered a liability. I wanted nothing to do with it, and as long as she stayed on her side of the building, I was fine. I even had neighbors ask how to handle interactions with her. My tone and message were always the same – document it and tell management.
Months later, I explained to the Human Lie Detector in one of our sessions how strange her behavior is: “I’ve read and seen a bunch of cultural references to Dissociative Identity Disorder (also known as Split Personality) – I’ve just never seen it before (from my own perspective) so distinctly.
You may know DID from the movie Split, or even the Hillside Strangler (who famously was found not to have the disorder).
“I saw what I saw and while I don’t know if it’s ‘that,’ it is certainly something I’ve never seen before.”
I then went into explaining the different personalities I had witnessed.
“One of her personalities is a bird. She stands tall, perches and just stares at you with the intensity of an owl, but the energy of a hawk. She’s not out to kill, but imagine opening up your door and you suddenly see the eyes of an owl’s eyes and hawk-like energy – it scares the crap out of you.
“She doesn’t say anything either … so you’re like, ‘Uhhh … can I help you?’ I don’t know if she knows she’s human and actually has a voice or is just so far into whatever she is into that she just doesn’t care.
“Another one of her personalities is a softer side; I call her the substitute gym teacher. She’s really a Latin teacher whose job perspective, like the language, is dead. So now she’s substitute teaching in a different district in a position she knows nothing about. She sits on the stairwell sometimes wearing a baseball cap (almost always reading her mail), and in this personality, she opens her legs really wide and lowers her shoulders with her arms and wrists dangling over her knees. She motions when you walk by with a flip of her catalog and a half smile (like the one you give to someone you happen to make eye contact with as you walk by, but really have no interest in talking to them). She’s kind of in charge, if there were literally no other adults around and all competent children had been sent home for the day. She’s there, but only because of legal mandates.
“Then there’s Old Yeller. She yells and yells and yells. I don’t know if there’s a third person she’s talking to in her head who is a vital missing piece, but I’ve listened to her in this state, too, and it’s a lot of cussing, cunt bombs, and anger. Sometimes she runs in this state, but like children on a playground at full speed running and yelling.”
“I’m not sure that’s how that works.
“It’s at least worth the effort. I’ve had enough experiences with ‘cray’ recently to tolerate any more.” </tangent>
THUD, I heard again.
“It’s her,” I said to Jeff. “I’m going to stand our ground. I don’t want her near our part of the hallway.”
jeff was shocked i heard anything: “how do you hear these silent sounds so clearly?”
I ran over to the door and quickly opened it.
next, i slapped my hand against the front of it, hoping to startle her.
“Hi, I’m sorry, this thing is so tricky,” the man said, fumbling with the construction tarp that had temporarily been placed up in the hallway.
I stood there stunned realizing it was THAT GUY.
“Um, let me help you,” I said, grabbing a broom. “I made this same mistake last week, thankfully this is only temporary.”
“WOW,” he said looking into our apartment. “Do you mind if I come in?”
“Uh sure” … I said … to Jeff, who is now equally starstruck and now standing.
<tangent> After years, I finally finished our apartment and for the first time ever get to experience what it is like living in your vision. I haven’t had this life experience before. </tangent>
When THAT GUY had his back turned, I mouthed to Jeff “SHOW HIM THE KITCHEN SO I CAN TURN ON THE COOL LIGHTS.”
It worked as I dipped into the other part of the apartment turning on the lights that had yet to be put on timers, but look epically cool.
“Wow, this space!!” he said. “It’s so cool.”
“Are you here visiting someone?” I asked.
“Yeah, my friend moved in down the hall.”
“How funny, I had no idea. I thought you were our other neighbor …” (I spared the details).
I then showed him our bedroom (home to the cool lights) and my Peloton.
“Can I rent this?” he said jokingly.
“Sureeee” … I said thinking of course you can come over and use my Peloton … THAT GUY!
“this is a really great space you have.”
“i designed it myself” i hummed hypnotically.
Tedi, our blind and mostly deaf Covid rescue dog, then greeted him at his feet.
“I’d be careful, FYI, he’s a Covid rescue and is learning touch. He was left in a yard, neglected, for the first 70 years of his life and he baahhhs like a sheep when he’s scared. It’s darling, but also like nails on a chalkboard. You just have to be gentle.”
that’s not a euphemism. tedi is a dog that baahs like a sheep. i’ve never seen or heard anything like it.
Not realizing he’s an animal lover, he laughed, asking, “Can I rent this too?”
I laughed, unsure again if he was serious.
“Wow, again, really great space. Good energy. I can tell you guys are good people,” he said at the door.
Before he walked out, Jeff said, “You were one of my first memories in Los Angeles. I had driven out with now X producer/showrunner and his brother worked on one of your movies. He was an exec at New Line at the time. You had a star on your door that he and I took a photo next to. It wasn’t even you – just your name, and we were impressed,” Jeff said laughing.
<tangent> To put Jeff’s response in perspective, he didn’t even flinch when we recently met (and talked to) people who used to live in the White House. He’s unflappable.
this … made him starstruck.
not that …
but … that guy! </tangent>
“I appreciate that, thank you. I’m going to see my friend now, but I have a feeling we’ll be seeing each other again.”
We pretended to play it cool as we both closed the door IMMEDIATELY texting our POH (person of honor) @LindsayMushett the news.
Much to his credit, THAT GUY was right. Our run-ins became an almost weekly occurrence.
“Hi, THAT GUY,” I said one day down the hall.
“How could I not know it was you?” he said.
“I love your outfits. That hat and the Mickey ears … you guys are great.”
“i don’t know if you’re coming or going, but we’re about to do a hallway party,” i said. “it’s nothing fancy, but a bunch of us get together in the hallway and shoot the shit. it’s how we survived covid.”
“I’d love to join your hallway party,” he said.
I did a mini half wave signifying a thumbs up – as I frantically went back into the apartment.
“BAEB (that’s how I say Jeff’s nickname … not Babe but bAEb) … THAT. GUY. is coming to our hallway party.”
also from this point forth, our hallway parties shall now be called “celebrity endorsed and attended hallway party” just for shits and giggles.
“He knows what they are right?”
“Yep, and how cool is that!!”
We then set up with boxed wine (in a decanter of course) served in our newly acquired Waterford crystal glasses … #poshandpodunk … and set up in the hallway with our neighbors on the floor of our very fancy apartment building.
THAT GUY was (not surprisingly) down to earth and really fun to talk to. He shared stories about his adventures (which shan’t be repeated) and fit into our group really well. That particular night there were only six of us, but there was never a moment where anyone felt like the “odd man out.” He was very present.
“He’s as cool as I thought he would be, I said to Jeff later that evening. “I’m not sure how to process that.”
“You don’t,” he said laughing.
One hallway party turned into many, followed by more drinks and further conversation at our very inviting dinner table.
“Talk Nerdy to me” he said, noticing the stage show poster on the wall. “I’ve heard of you and your blog.”
internally, i screamed for a moment, as i realized that guy knows this woman.
The words “thank you” managed to escape my mouth.
I then flipped from fan girl to entrepreneur as I mentioned that “Bruckheimer had previously optioned it twice and it sold in a four-way bidding war to CBS as a put pilot. Hindsight being 20/20 I’m glad it didn’t sell. It wasn’t a strong enough story choice in my opinion. The new version is more fitting.”
That particular night we sat around our very inviting dinner table and somehow (this wasn’t meant to be foreshadowing) the subject of stalkers came up. Everyone put in their two cents as THAT GUY asked what I would do.
I didn’t admit the gang stalking was occurring, I wasn’t ready to, but what I did say is, “It’s up to the victim how they want to proceed. First and foremost they are the ones being victimized.”
Also, there’s a great book from Gavin De Becker on what to do in those situations. Sometimes, it’s better to be wanted by the police than by no one at all. You have to analyze the situation and identify what type of stalker they are.
i was currently re-reading the book myself, so i grabbed it from the other room.
“Here,” I said, Gavin highlighted these pages for me at the beginning of TNTM 1.0 where I had a rather “excited” follower.
I called him asking what to do and followed the advice. It worked (in that instance)!
“That’s a really smart approach,” he said followed by “and Gavin is one of my best friends.”
this would be the first of many very specific and odd synchronicities.
My favorite among them was him sending Jeff’s contact info to a friend and realizing he had not one but two Jeff Deckers (Jeff’s full name) in his phone.
after i obtained this gang stalking footage at the end of june …
…one of my first calls was to that guy, remembering gavin is a close friend.
Considering Gavin is now personally working with Jeff Besos … I wasn’t sure if he would take my call again, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t willing to try.
“I’m so sorry you’re going through this,” THAT GUY said. “Gavin is booked, and the only other friend I can think of isn’t available right now either.”
“I really appreciate your help and even just taking the call.”
“I’ve never even heard of anything like this.”
“Me either,” I said. “But now I have proof. Finally. Do you remember that time we went to THAT restaurant? I was followed then too. I just wasn’t ready to talk about it. Lindsay didn’t even know!!”
“I NOTICED THAT,” he said. “The two guys! They were listening to us.”
“Yeah, at first you just think it’s weird, and then you realize you’re being followed by the lifetime movie version of a private investigator. It’s the same pattern of body language every time. I see it clear as day – it’s criminal.”
“Stay safe and let me know if I can help.”
“Thank you,” I said, realizing that if someone would have told me earlier in the year that I’d not only be friends with THAT GUY, but also be seeking his help on the issue of ‘gang stalking,’ I would have laughed my ass off.
I didn’t even understand what the term meant, but it was people like THAT GUY who made the “going through it” part THAT much easier.
Can you imagine handing that eyewitness report to the police? I don’t know who is more credible –THAT GUY or the Human Lie Detector.
i so very much appreciate the help.
<editorsnote> Special thanks to Doreen aka Mom for the help with editing! <3 </editorsnote>