Talk Nerdy To Me’s: @StaffWriter
You’ve been crushing on a guy for a while, but you’re not sure if he’s ever going to make a move. Or maybe you’ve been talking to a guy or going on a few dates, but you’re starting to wonder if you’re wasting your time.
If that’s the case, you’ll need to know the five signs that you’re wasting your time with a guy.
Discover the five signs below!
The Guy Is Jumping from One Relationship to Another
This isn’t a good sign. If a guy is constantly jumping from one relationship to another, he’s probably not going to make a commitment. Unless you want a fling or something casual, you’re going to have better luck with someone who doesn’t hop from girl to girl.
There are many reasons why a guy might jump from one relationship to another.
Some of these include his lack of commitment, fear of intimacy, and the need for excitement. However, there is also the possibility that he’s just trying to find “the one.” If you’re looking for someone who will commit to you in the future, this might be a sign that he doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
According to relationship research by experts like Dr. John Gottman, relationships with low levels of commitment are destined for failure. When partners are committed enough to stay together through difficult times, it strengthens their relationship and makes them much more likely to succeed in comparison with couples who aren’t committed.
The Guy Doesn’t Make Time for You
If you’re dating someone, but he’s never free when you are, there might be a devious reason. It could be that he just doesn’t have time for you, or it might mean something more serious.
This is another sign that you’re wasting your time with the guy.
Guys (like most people) make time for their priorities. If he liked you enough, he would find time for you, even if it was an hour here and there.
If he doesn’t make time for you, it’s either because he doesn’t like you or because he’s more interested in someone (or something) else. For example, if you’re dating a guy and he spends more time gaming than with you, there might be someone else in his life that’s taking priority over your relationship.
On the other hand, it could also be because he doesn’t value your time together as much as you do.
The Guy Is Inconsistent with Texting
Do you find yourself wondering when (or if) the guy is going to text you again? If so, this could be a sign that you’re wasting your time with him.
If a guy is interested in you, he will make the effort to continue the conversation and get to know you better. However, if he’s lazy or just not that interested in dating you, inconsistent texting is going to be an issue.
Guys love having control over their schedule and almost all of them get annoyed when someone tries to take it away from them.
On the other hand, guys text girls they like.
Every guy handles texting differently, but a guy who likes you will respond in a reasonable amount of time to your messages. He may not double-text or blow up your phone, but he’ll let you know that
The Guy Doesn’t Want You To Meet His Friends or Family
When a guy is trying to keep you away from everyone in his life, it’s probably because there’s something wrong with him.
This might be a sign that he has commitment issues. There is also the possibility that he prefers to pretend that you’re dating casually, even when you’re not.
If this is the case, it can lead to many problems down the line.
If he wants to be with you but doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends and family, it could mean that there are unresolved trust issues or another problem within your relationship. This leads back to inconsistency—a surefire way of knowing if you’re wasting time on someone who doesn’t deserve your time and energy.
The Guy Is Bad at Communicating
If you’ve ever dated someone who has never told you what’s wrong, this could be a sign that he’s not interested in dating you for the right reasons.
It might also mean that he doesn’t know how to communicate.
Someone who doesn’t know how to talk about his thoughts and feelings with others or simply isn’t interested enough to make an effort is usually immature and unworthy of your continued investment.
He may crumble under pressure, ghost you, or blow up in unprocessed anger. He would be unable to communicate in a healthy and constructive way and this could lead to many problems in your relationship.
What To Do If You See These Signs
If you see these signs in a guy you’re talking to, it’s probably time to cut your losses and move on.
There’s nothing wrong with leaving a relationship that doesn’t make you happy or is wasting your time. It’ll be hard to do, but it’ll end up being more rewarding in the long run.
If you see these signs in someone you’re already dating, there are several things that you can do to improve the situation:
- Be open about any feelings of inadequacy.
- Be willing to talk about the ways he could communicate better with you.
- Seek out therapy together if necessary.
- Have an honest conversation about what kind of future you want together.
If none of these work, it might be best for everyone involved if you broke things off and moved on with someone new.
Remember—if someone doesn’t treat you the way that you deserve, then they’re not worth your time. Each of us gets to assign our own value to ourselves. We demonstrate our value by how we allow others to treat us.
Don’t waste an opportunity to find someone who appreciates you in every way.
Learn the signs, look for the signs, and act on the signs you see. Don’t waste your time, invest it in yourself and your future.