Talk Nerdy To Me™ … (this is a post about body language and working with a human lie detector)
A few days ago, I completed the final assessment before I go into military-grade training on reading body language (specifically non-verbal leaks).
And GOOD NEWS!! I was approved for recommendation in the room!!!
Here’s what it all means.
For the last handful of months, I have been prepping to go into formal training for reading body language.
I discovered through a series of events that I literally see things differently. I see “fingerprints” in terms of shapes of people, and when something is “off” I see the person in black and white (while everyone else is in color).
I didn’t have the vocabulary to understand what I was seeing and having never been asked how I know what I know – it didn’t occur to me that what I had was a gift.
It also didn’t occur to me at any point in 36 years to MENTION it to anyone, because I saw what I saw and since it’s been this way my entire life, I had no idea it was different from what other people see.
look at this video & scroll to 1:47 seconds
It only took me 14 seconds to have visual, assess the situation and not only take action … but I was accurate.
look at my hand smack against the wall at 2:21 seconds
That’s not a casual, “I think I’m seeing what I’m seeing …”
it’s an “i know what i’m seeing and you best be gone boy.”
This discovery wasn’t either “the chick or the egg,” that led to the invitation to training; I was already on that path. The timing just happened to coincide.
“I’d love to be in the training program,” started every meeting in the last three months with the Dr. (aka Human Lie Detector).
“Why do you want to go into training?” He asked.
“Valid question,” I said, “but I don’t have an answer. Six months ago, I didn’t even know who you were or that any of this ‘was a thing!!’”
I didn’t say it was the coolest thing I have ever heard – although it is.
What I did say was, “If the last few years proved anything to me, it is that I am EXACTLY the person that I thought I was. I step up, I speak up, and I had no idea I was capable of the things I am capable of. I not only organized the community in my building when we needed it the most during my friend’s murder, but I also placed call after call when my other friend’s body was found. I don’t fully believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, but those were two big defining moments in my life and I earned a lot of respect for it, but mostly for myself.”
I then went into the process.
I go into this laser focus; it’s like time slows down and I’m staring at each detail as it’s occurring. It’s like watching a tennis match with those super high-def cameras. My voice takes on a specific tone that is both calm, but assertive.
It’s definitely some form of leadership skills, but on a whole other level.
Why NOT improve myself even more with training like this so I can formalize what I am already seeing/doing?
The Dr. while impressed, still didn’t have a clear answer.
“You’re one of the most remarkable students I have had, but training is different. Training is me giving you a black parachute and throwing you out of a plane saying, ‘Figure your way out.’ At the end of the program, I can do that to you, and you WILL succeed. There’s also no going back to the way you were before.”
I chimed in saying, “For 36 years, I had no idea I literally see things differently, so it doesn’t feel like that much of a change.”
“Let’s chat next week,” he said as I was then reminded of the meme that “One does not simply walk into Mordor.”
OOOHHH … I thought. This is a challenge. I’m going to be refused multiple times just to see my mental fortitude.
I then pulled my best “Charlotte York seeking to become a Jew,” scheduling call after call regarding ways we could work together.
I knew the Dr. had limited web presence and one website that was still Flash based, so I offered to rebrand him and bring him to more modern times.
“That’s wonderful,” said the Dr. “And what do you mean by that? Can you itemize it out?”
Line item by line item, I went into what he needed, how it would be structured (from an engineering perspective), identification of a new business model, and product deliverables.
It took a few months of going back and forth (strictly scheduling-wise) but I’m happy to say he has a brand new website.
This was his response:
“You have a real talent at helping people and you know how to make things look GOOD.”
“Thank you,” I said, not skipping a beat, “and I’d really like to put those skills to work helping others with the formal training.”
“i think you’re ready,” he said. “let’s touch base after the holidays.”
“That would be lovely,” I said.
Shortly after New Years, we were able to schedule another call.
I need you to write out EXACTLY what you want and EXACTLY what I am going to get for it.
This is the COOLEST bartering I have ever done, I thought, as I wrote out the email (which later became a contract).
Two more calls later, “You SURE you want to do this?” he asked.
“i’ve never been more sure of anything outside of marrying my husband, starting talk nerdy to me, and being buster brown’s furrever mama.”
He continued, “How are you feeling?”
“I don’t believe it; you’re not afraid of anything.”
“Okay, I said, “I take that back. My body is signaling to my brain that I should be scared, but you’re right; I’m not. I’m ready. And it’s not that I’m not afraid of anything. I just process fear differently.”
“You’re going to be handed a loaded gun. It is my job to make sure you know how to clean the gun, store it, use it, and take care of it.”
He then brought up the black parachute again.
“You do realize you can be dropped out of a plane with only a black parachute and you will succeed in getting out.”
“Why is the parachute black?” I asked.
He laughed, knowing that that was my only question.
“I am going to reach out to some of my former students. They’re going to need to approve you, too. I need confirmation on your morals and ethics.
“Call me back in 10 minutes,” he said, hanging up the call.
“I got this.” I kept saying to myself as I quickly searched for a reinforcement in the form of YouTube videos of Charlotte doing the same.
I watched these videos while I waited.
i got excited by the second video, recognizing i was one part charlotte york (soon to be goldenblatt) and another part amy from brooklyn nine nine.
Mental manifestations on lock, I then unlocked my phone and turned off the alarm indicating 10 minutes had passed and it was time to call the Dr. back.
i sent a text and continued my manifesting.
Three Cal Lightman videos later … I got an email indicating contact had been made with the students (who are now masters themselves).
“Let’s chat next week,” said the student from Holland who offered her international number.
We then arranged a time to speak, as I asked if it could be done over Skype since I do not have an international calling plan.
I then immediately Googled her name and was really impressed with her website.
Man, the Dr.’s website is legit but wow, this is really well done.
I then looked at images of fancy corporate looking people looking at a big fancy corporate looking screen … and wondered if I, too, would be in front of something big and fancy.
What does this next part of the approval process look like? I wondered, as I flipped back from her website back to the imagery of clients on Lie To Me.
I knew I wasn’t going to be placed in an elevated white out box (since it was a Skype call across international waters), but I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t be on some sort of big screen with a table of experts confirming “my intentions.”
“i’m meeting with a morals and ethics committee on tuesday,” i said to jeff, who was surprised.
“Morals and ethics?”
Yeah, I get it. It’s like being given this gun, so they have to make sure I’m not a murderer. I can confirm after meeting the actual person who murdered my friend (I TALKED TO THEM AND EVEN PET THEIR DOG) – with confidence that I have VERY different energy.
“you either have this skill or you don’t. you can’t prepare for this meeting.”
I know. It’s just finally hitting the … honor of this participation in the program. I’m the ONLY person that has been offered this training in the United States. You can argue that the Dr. hasn’t met every person in the United States, but still… Now I’m going to sit before a morals and ethics board?! Six months ago, my life looked dramatically different. I know this is my path, but man this is a 180.
also if i don’t pass, i can at least say i failed the morals and ethics review. that’s at least worthy of a post i can laugh at.
I woke up Tuesday very Zen and mentally as prepared as I could be.
The day before, I had reached out to our couples therapist (who is the only other therapist I know), letting her know what I was going into and that part of the requirement is that I have a therapist “on call.”
Unsure what that meant, I spoke from the heart and not the head.
Before the Skype, I put on a whimsical yet serious dress, opting for my ears to be on while getting ready but off to the side (for additional support) during the call.
i purposefully made this #ootd post #filterfree for totes obvi rezzies.
Noticing that my hair was in my face on the mirrored screen before the Skype began, I quickly put it up in a ponytail to avoid any follicle foibles.
the guest list jumped from 1 of 1 to 2 of 2 …
… as a surprise popped up on the screen.
I wasn’t on some big screen with scientists staring at my face with data points for “moral and ethical” already established. Instead, I was staring at someone in their living room on their laptop looking rather cozy.
It reminded me of the scene in the Matrix with the Oracle:
“How can I help you?” she asked in an open yet honest way.
“Well, it’s my understanding that you are the morals and ethics committee and I need to be vetted to make sure both are in proper place.”
“Tell me about yourself,” she said. I went into the full story of how I was being gang-stalked and then sought the Dr.’s help thinking I was hiring a profiler only to then go through months of trauma therapy to then discover I’m autistic, and now here I am. I’m not here because I’m autstic; I just happen to naturally have a gift at reading body language.
“I see incongruent body language in black and white,” I admitted, now knowing those vocabulary words. “It’s like the Wizard of Oz.”
“This is going to change your life,” she said. “The fact that this comes naturally to you is incredible, but with his program, it’s going to give shapes (the pun is not intended) to what you are already seeing.
“Get creative with it. The work can be applied to almost anything in life.”
I then asked specifics about her background and the training.
The whole vibe felt like I was catching up with an old mentor, which was in stark contrast to the reality that I was sitting in front of ANOTHER Human Lie Detector … this time International!!
(International Human Lie Detector does have a nice ring to it.)
Feeling so comfortable and forgetting that I was there to be reviewed, I continued talking and asking questions in the key of Jonathan Frakes.
“I can talk to you all day,” she said, 30 minutes in. “But I got my booster shot yesterday and I need to go lie down. Just in case you were worried, you ABSOLUTELY have my recommendation. I think you will be a tremendous asset to the community and I’m excited to see what happens.”
Shocked that I got the recommendation IN THE ROOM (I assumed there would be some video analysis needed), I profusely thanked her for her time as we bid adieu.
“holy shit”, i said out loud. i’m going into military grade training for studying non-verbal leaks and crisis management.
For the first time in a very long time, I thought of one of my favorite sayings …
One day you might be sad and be disappointed by the fact that some how your pants got shorter in the night … but man oh man, when that flood hits you’ll be ready.
And right now so am I.