#UnbelievablyTrue: How Shaming My Sexuality Backfired
I truly despise censoring content for social media reach.
Here’s what I actually wanted to post: “#UnbelievablyTrue: How Slutshaming came full circle (featuring Hulk Hogan).”
::deep breath:: Ahh, I feel so much better now
This story is unbelievable, and involves Hulk Hogan, which is why I am finally telling it.
I thought a moment I had was THE mic drop moment … only to then discover the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree … and the ACTUAL mic drop moment happened at my family’s dinner table instead.
Maestro …
In 2016-ish? - I got approached to be the face of a well-known internet property.
The investor on the project wanted a specific “voice.”
…. Relatable, but actually having an opinion.
I went back and forth for a bit.
First off, let me pump the brakes for a second … I was extremely honored, but the word that this property was based off of meant something ENTIRELY different to me.
I said, as long as I can help reshape what that “word” means, I could do it.
I don’t know if “targeting” the redefinition of the word vs another brand is a “thing” - but I can tell you Victorias' Secret is about to have an about face.
THIS WAS WELL before all that we know now.
I predict trends, and I saw where the market was shifting to … and just KNEW.
I said what I saw to the investor, and I don’t know if he agreed with me, but as he started to set up meetings, I came up with a series of storyboard ideas.
I’m friends with a lot of different walks of life, so as I came up with the ideas - immediately I knew who could help implement.
As I built out the deck for the investor, he was floored at the caliber of talent I had rallied.
At the top was someone who I personally considered my mentor. Female powerhouse - deeply respected person … and I came in second place at her costume contest a few months before.
Next, was one of the executives in the c-suite for the network that had placed a bid on the option for my life rights, trademarks, and intellectual property.
I met him on a dating app and when we first hung out he said “you became too expensive.”
SPECTACULAR human. He thought it was so interesting that I “rented” clothing for events.
The rest were my tech friends … one of whom I met when I crashed the Grammys (and I involve him in everything) and the other were either guys I happened to date and stay friends with, or just knew because they were REALLY good at what they do.
My creative soulmate runs Pollution Studios in downtown LA, so with the snap of my fingers, I had a lot of people ready for employment.
It was a really cool pairing of tech and Hollywood, that I’m proud of still to this day. They were all so “random” but you could very obviously see the talent and reach the property would have out the gate.
The investor then told me more about what he had planned. It wasn’t technically one property his investment firm had acquired the rights to, it was a VERY LARGE series of properties that VERY PUBLICLY went under.
You need to be in the c-suite of parent company in addition to being the face of one of the brands.
As someone who had $10 to my name, and bartered social media a few years before (due to seeing the trend but “influencer marketing” not having a term yet) … I was floored.
This was an INCREDIBLE opportunity, that I was proudly ready to take full advantage of.
(Also +1 for having designers be the most expensive job at our startup - so as the CMO I literally taught myself design which came in handy with the decks and storyboards I was building.)
In-between having a pilot in development (which I had no involvement in), and working every job under the sun for a startup that I believed in, I began taking meetings with advertisers, strategic partners, and talent … excited at the idea of changing the meaning of what this word has historically meant to something that I knew I would be proud to represent.
“She challenged the status quo and pushed boundaries,” will most likely be included in my obituary before or after the line where I’m “often described as clever.”
The investor and I hit it off like besties. He is REALLY good at numbers and has a desire to be creative … where I’m 100% creative, and DEFINITELY need help in the numbers department.
(I mean that literally, I’ve recently been diagnosed with dyscalculia - which is simply put, dyslexia with numbers.)
Through one of the many back and forths we had, he then brought up the sale of the Gawker assets.
Here’s a breakdown of what happened …
Hulk Hogan vs. Gawker: The Case That Shook Media, Privacy, and Free Speech
The Hulk Hogan vs. Gawker lawsuit is one of the wildest and most influential legal battles in recent U.S. media history. At its core, it wasn’t just about a sex tape — it was about the limits of free speech, the right to privacy, and how billionaires can secretly bankroll lawsuits to shut people up.
The Short Version
Back in 2012, Gawker — the snarky, boundary-pushing media site — published a clip from a leaked sex tape of Hulk Hogan (real name: Terry Bollea) with the wife of his then-friend, radio host Bubba the Love Sponge. Classy, right?
Hogan sued for:
Invasion of privacy
Emotional distress
Violation of personality rights
And he didn’t just win — he crushed them. A Florida jury awarded him $140 million in damages in 2016, which drove Gawker Media straight into bankruptcy. They later settled for $31 million, but by then, Gawker was done.
The Bigger Issues
1. Privacy vs. Free Speech
Gawker claimed the video was newsworthy and protected under the First Amendment. Hogan said, “Actually no — this is a massive violation of my privacy.”
Why it mattered:
The jury sided with privacy, a big deal since public figures usually get less protection. The ruling suggested that even celebrities don’t give up all their privacy — especially when it comes to non-consensual, intimate content.
2. Is It Newsworthy... or Just Voyeurism?
Legally, speech that serves the public interest is often protected. But Hogan’s lawyers argued that this tape had zero news value — it was just clickbait.
Why it mattered:
It forced the courts to grapple with an uncomfortable line: Just because people want to see something doesn’t mean they need to. And that distinction could change how media covers public figures.
3. The Billionaire Behind the Curtain
Here’s the twist: Hogan’s lawsuit wasn’t just about his feelings — it was secretly bankrolled by billionaire investor Peter Thiel, who had a personal vendetta against Gawker (they outed him in 2007).
He reportedly poured $10 million into funding Hogan’s legal team.
Why it mattered:
This raised huge red flags. It showed how the ultra-wealthy can quietly use lawsuits as weapons — not to protect privacy, but to punish media outlets they don’t like. Legal revenge, with deep pockets.
Fallout and Long-Term Impact
Media chill: Newsrooms became more cautious, especially when publishing private or controversial material.
More lawsuits: Public figures now more frequently use privacy and defamation suits as a way to push back.
Gawker shut down: The once-infamous digital outlet folded, sending a message to other media companies: Watch your back.
The Takeaway
The Hogan vs. Gawker case was about way more than a sex tape. It changed how the law views celebrity privacy, redefined what counts as news, and exposed how easily money can be used to silence speech. It’s still debated today — not just in journalism schools, but in boardrooms, courtrooms, and media companies trying to figure out where the line is.
And spoiler alert: that line’s getting blurrier.
HUGE deal … huge …
So, the investor asked, “do you see any value in the assets?”
Yes, I said, detailing exactly my reasons and positions we should take - should we be able to acquire them.
The reasoning matched the numbers, and we placed what was deemed a “fair bid.” When it was published in the media some of the people behind the bids - his company even got mentioned … which to me was AWESOME to have skin in whatever game was happening. It felt like a “moment” in terms of media, pop culture, and as stated above rights journalists/ media outlets have in terms of what they cover.
The proceedings continued, and using both the leverage of being in the run for the bid for the Gawker assets, and just the general potential power of the (soon to be rebuilt) parent company … I then went outside of my social circle and thought about who I thought would be a good fit to be part of this “definition of a rebrand” in terms of female driven content.
While in spin class (I come up with the BEST ideas while spinning ….) I heard the Beyonce song “partition.”
… and most specifically the line “Monica Lewinskied” all over my gown.
(Which is technically not accurate. It was Bill’s juice that was on the gown.)
What is Monica up to? I wondered.
Mind you, AGAIN, this was before she had her truly epic comeback … and even YEARS before Ryan Murphy developed the American Crime series based on the decade defining Presidential affair from the ‘90s.
Without an ounce of judgement (typical autism trait - but was years myself away from diagnosis) … I just wondered what her life was like now!
Yes, she is now this HUGE cultural figure … but she was also an intern … and she still goes to the grocery store, and is still a human being. Also, she WAS an intern at the White House … I was confident in terms of my prediction that she was not as dumb of cookie like the media presented her as.
Thinking it could be a GREAT opportunity with TBD placement, I then put on my detective hat and went searching for her contact info.
I didn’t exactly know what I was pitching her on, but if I was going to rebrand something for women, I truly wanted to hear from all walks of life and really lean in to what a “rebrand” could represent for those involved.
It took me less than a day to find out her personal assistant’s contact info. I then left word and explained who I was and with as much information as I could give, the leverage I had behind me.
It took them less than a day to come back with a “we’re not interested.”
Eh, I thought … can’t blame a girl for trying. PLUS, if I truly wanted her to be involved, I was certain that someone I knew would be in her world, and we could figure out how to make it a “go.” I put that on the back burner, but not out of mind.
I then laughed at myself - not having realized what I did.
I want to help a woman who was slutshamed rebrand … WHEN THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME (the slut shaming … but clearly no where near to the same scale).
In May of 2012, I was at a car event for the Dodge Dart. Having been part of the Ford Fiesta Movement, I was often invited to go to media events (non-paid but they did include travel and stay).
… that’s also part of the reason why I took the city bus for two years … when I posted about my adventures, car companies would reach out wanting to literally give me a car to tool around in (in exchange for writing about it - total win/win).
Sounds archaic now, but was a big deal.
The week before, I had gotten a message in social from an editor of a big car blog.
He had heard about me, (he specifically mentioned Ben Parr - aka the person who I met when I crashed the Grammys to meet his then boss, Pete Cashmore).
We met up, and as an undiagnosed autistic woman, I had NO idea he was hitting on me.
Particularly being AuDhd, I’m a walking contradiction. I can either predict things with INCREDIBLE accuracy - in an almost psychic way … or I’m oblivious. No in-between.
I had just flown into Austin, and published a photo of me on a bed (something I had only recently consistently started to sleep in again) - when I got this message on FB.
Now, in this moment, I’m convinced he’s doing me a solid. Me being at a press event is one thing, to have a story ABOUT ME go live by being at an event was something I hadn’t experienced yet.
It was a media event just like others I had been to. People often think I am the life of the party (which I can be) but as a writer, I have to be observant. For me to do the job that I was there for - I just quietly observed.
I made friends with the only other woman at the event, but mostly just went about my time - meeting up with as many fans of Talk Nerdy To Me® as I could in-between mandated events.
Car culture based journalism is the DEFINITION of “bro-culture.”
Everyone there was from various “respected outlets” and when I told them I was with TalkNerdyToMeLover.com (our original name) - they would laugh. I am and have always been VERY upfront that I am not a “car person” … BUT, I do own a car, and my purchase is just as valid as any “expert” opinion.
To the editor’s point, the car wasn’t the best/ fastest/ thing I’ve ever driven. If cars were on a spectrum, I’d base the Dodge Dart as somewhere near “meh.”
Just because I don’t find something to be “the best” doesn’t mean I can’t make the “best” out of anything myself. I’m perpetually a “here’s a lemon go make lemonade … or a margarita” kinda person.
I integrated the adventures I was having into the pieces I published in social and on the blog (using #dodgedart) … and went about my day truly excited to read the piece going live at 4:30.
When I clicked the article (which he did not send … prolly should have been another “red flag” …)
I was horrified to see a video I posted on my YouTube Channel that had ZERO relevance to what I was there to review (and mind you Ford Fiesta videos WERE ALSO POSTED AND COULD HAVE BEEN SOURCED FOR CONTENT).
…. but that wouldn’t have been “slanted” how they wanted it.
Oh shit … I realized … “it’s not terrible” CLEARLY means something different from the version that I had been using up until that point.
Immediately other outlets picked up “the story” (aka ME being at this event) … even going into the next day … with a little cruder headlines …
Jalopnik’s post (a Gawker owned blog) made MY REVIEW … the ONE review everyone was interested in.
NOW STILL AT A PRESS EVENT … I went to dinner, where the spotlight was off the car and onto me.
The 20 something other bro-culture-esque male journalists ALL wanted to know who I was and why the hell Jalopnik would write such a scathing piece.
I didn’t have an answer either, but I did know I had a FUCK LOAD OF TRAFFIC hitting my website and I had to respond.
For an internet minute, myself and my review of the Dodge Dart became the actual story I was there to write/experience.
I then posted that “my review will be going live” at such and such time (mirroring the editor telling me his story would go live at 4:30. Also, the editor called the shot on the piece being written but did not write it himself.).
Wanting to address the situation head on myself, once I published my very honest review, I ripped into Jalopnik.
I’m so proud of what I wrote …
What Jalopnik gave me was a gift … and i immediately saw that.
Here’s what a reporter who was actually there wrote about the event …
What was DIRECTLY intended to be a diss became my biggest numbers in traffic - which continued for YEARS after their post. I STILL use this example to showcase my influence as an influencer pre there being a term for it.
Huge deal … but had it not been for Monica Lewinsky … I don’t know if I would have connected the dots on all of this myself.
So then … later that year, I’m at my folks’ place having dinner … and I very proudly told them more about the project I was working on (as I couldn’t give any more details as it was happening) …. and when I mentioned the Gawker assets and the bid (which we lost on obvi) … I mentioned the Hulk Hogan lawsuit and being slutshamed by one of their brands.
My dad then perked up, and said, “you know they bought our house, right?”
My jaw hit the floor as I said no … quickly realizing he didn’t mean Hulk Hogan (because they would have led with that sooner than this).
Bubba the love sponge aka the shock jock and his wife who was IN THE HULK HOGAN SEX TAPE bought our family home when it was on the market in 2011.
A sentence I never thought I would say to my father … “WAS THE HULK HOGAN SEX TAPE SHOT IN YOUR OLD BEDROOM?!?! No, thankfully, it was not (I discovered this afternoon).
Immediately it “clicked” when he said it as I remembered… THAT’S WHY OUR REALTOR (who I consider like a second mother) COMMENTED ON HOW STRANGE IT WAS THAT THE WIFE KEPT SAYING “WHAT LOVELY NATURAL LIGHTING THE HOME HAD!!”
I had been visiting on or around the time it was on the market, and I SPECIFICALLY remember the realtor laughing going, well, we know what business she’s in.
No, I said … genuinely not knowing.
She then told me Tampa is nicknamed “Trampa” for a reason.
For reference, the movie Magic Mike was based on Channing Tatum’s real life experiences at an Ybor City nightclub.
All I remembered from the sale was that one, it happened and two, the realtor’s comment …. because I thought it was HILARIOUS.
I then realized that Gawker’s site was LITERALLY brought down because of Bubba The Love Sponge.
Bubba the Love Sponge (real name: Todd Clem) played a central, controversial role in the Hulk Hogan sex tape scandal. His involvement added layers of betrayal, legality, and media spectacle to the lawsuit that followed. Here's a breakdown of his role:
Who is Bubba the Love Sponge?
A shock jock radio personality known for outrageous, often offensive on-air stunts.
He was a longtime friend of Hulk Hogan (Terry Bollea) and often hosted him on his radio show.
His Role in the Sex Tape
The Tape Was Filmed in Bubba's Home
The sex tape was secretly recorded in Bubba’s bedroom around 2006.
Hogan had sex with Bubba’s then-wife, Heather Clem.
Bubba was allegedly aware of and consented to the encounter, possibly even arranging it.
Secret Recording Allegedly Done by Bubba
The recording was made without Hogan's knowledge.
In the tape, after Hogan leaves the room, Bubba is allegedly heard saying:
"If we ever need to retire, here’s our ticket."
This strongly implied intent to exploit the tape for money later.
Key to Hogan’s Legal Argument
The unauthorized recording and Gawker’s publication of it formed the basis of Hogan’s invasion of privacy claim.
Bubba’s apparent complicity damaged his relationship with Hogan, and he eventually became a side-figure in the larger lawsuit.
Legal Fallout for Bubba
Not a defendant in the Gawker lawsuit, but was sued separately by Hogan.
In 2012, Hogan filed a lawsuit against Bubba and Heather Clem, claiming they invaded his privacy.
Bubba initially denied any wrongdoing, but later issued a public apology and settled with Hogan.
Quote from Bubba's apology (2012):
"I am now convinced that Hulk Hogan was unaware of the presence of the recording device in my bedroom."
Public and Legal Perception
Bubba's role painted him as a facilitator and potential conspirator in the scandal.
He was widely criticized for betraying a close friend and for being involved in an ethically and legally murky act.
His radio career suffered, and his public image took a hit after the scandal.
Significance
Bubba’s involvement amplified the sense of personal betrayal and privacy violation in the Hogan saga. His actions helped Hogan argue that the sex tape was never meant to be public, strengthening the case against Gawker and ultimately contributing to the historic legal judgment that reshaped digital journalism and privacy law.
FTR, they did a phenomenal job redecorating …
You can see how bright the place was (even though my soon-to-be-diagnosed sensory sensitivities had me pointed in another direction) ….
See that brown chair in the lower left hand corner? I’m sitting in the same spot at the kitchen counter in the center of the (duh) kitchen.
See that window directly behind the chair at the top of the photo?
that’s the window someone broke into when i accidentally thwarted a robbery by coming home from my run sooner than predicted.
I was in the pool (and there was a pool table there at the time so the visibility was spot on & I noticed the window abnormally opened) and knew to call the police.
… come to think of it … That’s actually the second time I stopped a robbery in my parents house.
I know now being diagnosed with synesthesia that I lead anything but a “normal” life … but even for me, this story is still truly unbelievable.
Oh, and in a continued coincidence, my dad this past weekend (not knowing I was writing this story) found his Bubba’s business card as he was cleaning out his desk.
(I kept this intentionally blurry.)
That is EXACTLY the style branding I would have expected from someone who calls himself a “Love Sponge.”
Also, I love that my dad was one of the attorneys who set legal precedent regarding email and text communications in the State of Connecticut (I was stalked in a “mean girls style way - pre the movie) … and he sold his home to the guy who set his own precedent for the future of digital media in the DOUCHIEST of ways.
OH OH… and the lady of the house?
My mom (… you know … fellow property owner) … well, she’s a Hoar (former - technically).
And so is her relative … you know … the face of the John Harvard statue.
Was it the lighting that brought us all together??
… or can we finally admit, at the end of the day, we are all just a bunch of Hoars/whores.
::chefs kiss: As to be expected …
Oh and the property and the parent company??
Unfortunately, I’m still not at liberty to discuss. #legalreasons
