It's time for a #change. Like now.
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard
I’m normally a super happy person. Positivity is something I always try to maintain, but latel
y I’ve been feeling really...shit-head-y. I’m not sure what it is......actually, I know exactly what it is. 2010 sorta sucked. Not just a little ween, either, like a fat stinky ingrown hair-riddle scrote. Okay, that’s a little harsh, we did get a gorgeous baby this year. Mostly everything else blew fat ones. Up until this last week I have felt like my face is getting pounded in the dirt around every corner.
See, to start, my hubby was “on call” all year, which basically means he got to work about 40% of the time. We live very simply, but mortgage companies gots to get their dough. Kids apparently get hungry and need food. All silly things, I know, but we’re pretty insistent on having a place for our kids to sleep and yummies for their tummies. The stress of not knowing if we would be getting a paycheck from week to week is not only hard on us as individuals, but because it is hard on the individuals it is hard on the couple.
I also had an incredibly difficult pregnancy. I had gestational diabetes, which means a whole bunch of things - the baby could be huge or tiny (my son-pregnancy #2-was 10 1/2 pounds at birth), could be stillborn, could die shortly after birth...all sorts of crazy complications. Which means that I was on a crazy strict low carb high protein diet. Two things that should never go together: pregnancy + diet. Or pregnancy + low carb. Or pregnancy + high protein. So hard, it made me feel like total shit all the time, on top of the stresses of being pregnant. I constantly felt guilty for needing to be on medicine, and the fear of harming my daughter if I ate too many crackers was hardcore. Recovery from the c-section was awful, like super awful, and to top it all off, one of my hubby’s parents treated me poorly in the hospital, and even got upset that I asked my husband to help me take a shower one day when he was supposed to be home working on our remodel. Apparently that’s a nurse’s job and it’s 1950.
All of these things have hardened me a bit. I find myself getting angry easily, staying annoyed with people over little things, and not giving new people much of a chance. That is sooooooooo not me. What the hark? I no likey. I no likey one bit. I’ve been judgemental and intolerant. And it’s time for a change.
No more of that bullshit. I want to be positive again. I want to be funloving again. I want my fuse to be loooooooooooooooooooooong. And I’m starting today. It’s all starting from within, and it’s time to re-evaluate EVERYTHING. So buckle up kids, it’s going to get bumpy.
The transformation begins today.