Oh dear god I can’t believe our live show is premiering this Friday!! Big deal. HUGE deal! Total dream come true for me. There’s just so much going on … but hold up, I’m getting ahead of myself. Lemme break it all down for you. Here’s the song that goes with the post …
On Friday, I had an appointment with the Modern Day Shaman, aka @realityadjacent. REALLY great guy, I totally had a breakthrough in our session as he cracked me open energetically and I felt for the first time an extreme sense of shame.
The shaman didn’t put that word in my mouth either – he just told me that I was blocking something since I energetically was turning so cold. (You can’t hide from a shaman kiddies!) I told him that I very genuinely didn’t know, and he took a minute and replied with – I think you need to make amends to someone. The SECOND the words escaped his mouth I knew what he was talking about, and I cried from. my. soul.
I was barely even able to get words out, but what did escape was …
so. so. so. cruel.
so. cruel. who does that to a child?
He then put his hand on my back healing some of the pain, and after I calmed down I thanked him, got back on my bike and rode into Hollywood.
Now normally, my bike ride back to Hollywood is one that is filled with joy and glee – but this one freaking sucked. I couldn’t stop crying!!!!!!!
I was a blubbery mess, emotion still escaping from my soul.
BBBAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I screamed/cried riding through the streets.
Cousin It is not a pretty look for me, btw.
Nor is it exactly a safe look.
As I rode back into Hollywood I was crossing over this street outside of a Starbucks, and BAAMMMM who walks RIGHT in front of my bike as I slam on my brakes not to hit him?
None other than Chad Michael Murray and what I’m assuming was his girlfriend …
See, I live in a pretty popular part of town. This place CRRAAWWLLLLSSS with celebs (remember the time I went to 711 and saw a supermodel? This is totes an every day thing)
I laughed thanking god it wasn’t Giovanni Ribisi. He is totally my socially awkward penguin!! Not once but TWICE I’ve seen that guy looking like a hot mess. OOHHHH Giovanni!!! So mean!!
I’m INCREDIBLY committed to bettering myself this year. Yes, I’ve uncovered after 103 dates in 9 months that I am emotionally unavailable, but what does that mean? And how can I change things?
Working with the shaman, and my dating coach @datingcoachb have certainly been helping – but it isn’t easy. I’ve been blocking these emotions for most of my life, so to actually sit and address them is … the hardest thing I have done in a while.
I’m excited about it, but man oh man – it’s not easy.
I had to then spend the rest of the day sleeping as I was so drained from everything that went on earlier in the evening. I was just … done. Couldn’t think, couldn’t write, couldn’t do. Just needed to sleep.
Then, on Saturday, I wrote out the post on addressing my shame.
Felt ah-mazing to get it all out. Thanks for all the comments on Facebook everyone. Really appreciate it.
Saturday night, we got all of the girls together for the live show at my house to go over the storytelling component.
It was hilarious, the first card game we were going to try to play was Go Fish, and none of us could actually remember how to play.
I then wikied the instructions, and even after reading them – we were all still a bit confused.
Read them to me like I’m a 5 year old, said @JennHoffman
I then went to youtube to see if there was a video of someone explaining Go Fish to see if it made any more sense.
(Again, I SWEAR we are obvi not idiots, but I haven’t played in over 20 years. And I couldn’t remember the actual purpose of the game, or who ended up winning and because of why … VERY simple game, but we all have VERY complex brains. hahahaha not a good combo!)
I typed in “how to play go fish” and one of the first videos that came up was this …
OMMMMGGGG cutest kid ever!!!
AND he helped us actually understand how to play.
Holy shit, we were all rolling on the floor laughing so hard. Such smart women, yet we could not for the LIFE of us wrap our heads around this stupid fucking game.
Even more hilarious is that when all was said and done we wound up having to change the game as the verbal cues in Go Fish are too much for what we were trying to do.
A for effort little duderino, but sorry we aren’t going to play your awesome game.
Then as we were each on our second beer the storytelling was complete, and @meowmistidawn got a call from Dr. Suzy asking if we wanted to kick it at her place tonight in honor of Eros day.
All the girls then piled into a car (with a designated driver) and headed downtown. On the way over, Misti got a text from Hal Sparks saying that he was going to swing by as well.
It took me a minute when she said who that was – but then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
HOLY SHIT!!!! I love that dude!! He’s the one from all the VH1 shows!!!
Yeah, said Misti. And Queer as Folk, and a bunch of others.
I LOVE HIM!!!!
I then geeked out for a hot minute SUPER excited to meet one of my favorite countdown comedians.
About an hour into us getting to Dr. Suzys he did actually show up, so I casually walked over to where they were sitting to introduce myself.
Did I mention I spilled wine on my hand on the way over? Yep. It would not be my life if I did not have an awkward moment inside a second of what should be coolness.
Hello, I said – pretending not to know at all who he was … but come on … of course I knew.
I then went back to the stage area to watch the rest of the show, and moments later this rapper arrived from The Pack.
I had honestly never heard of the duderino, but then he busted out with a performance of this and I knew EXACTLY who he was …
HELL YEAH!! It’s the Vans song!!! Dude, I miss my Vans so so much … tear … but fuck yeah I knew that dude!
His name was Lil Uno, and it was funny – Dr. Suzy invited us back into her office to take a look around after the show, and Uno was like, yo! lemme get yo twitter!
He then tweeted me …
And just like that, inside Dr. Suzy’s office, Lil Uno and I were talking about social media, while Hal Sparks was to my left flirting with Misti.
Life, is this you? Can you REALLY be this amazing and is this REALLY happening right now?
We then left Dr. Suzys and headed over to a diner in Los Feliz to stuff our faces.
OMG OMG OMG I had the best breakfast burrito ever.
MMMMMMM BREAAAKKKFFAASSSSTT BURRRIIITTTOOOOOOOOOOO
It was hilarious though, all this went down at like 4am so in true LA fashion, there were some gnarly peeps at the diner … like the group of drag queens behind us.
I’m not quite sure if that is the politically correct technical term for them, but either way they were UNBELIEVABLY fabulous, and I adored every SECOND of it!
Then, on Sunday I prepped more for the live show, and sent an email to an uncle of mine on Facebook re: my shame post. It was less of an amends to him, and more of an email to him as by product of the amends to myself. It was heavy, and I’m not going to post it on here, but it felt SUPER good to get off my chest.
So, that’s what’s been going on! Super random weekend – as always.
Tonight, I will be spending two hours listening to guys read “dramatic interpretations of OKC emails” for the live show. HAHAHA going. to. be. great. The script is obviously all actual OKC emails, and they’re HILARIOUSSS!!!
So so soooooooooo very happy and proud of this community, and of the live show that premiers later this week. Hope to see some of your sexy lover faces there!!! Peace love and lollipops nerds!! Keep on keeping on!
PS. Look what my parents sent me today in honor of our first show …
CHAMPAGNE AND CHOCOLATES!!! AMAZING!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!! 143