Oh cheese between the knees … haha … what a wildly random evening.
So, yesterday, we had our last rehearsal for the stage show (WHICH IS THIS FRIDAY AT 8PM IN HOLLYWOOD), and somewhere around 8 I got a text from my buddy Seth asking if I was free to kick it.
Seth and I met way way way back in the day at the Playboy Mansion. See, I’ve been going there for wow, 7 years now? shit … and all of their parties are invite only, no plus one, non-transferable. Out of all of my friends that would submit pics it was super freaking awkward that year after year I was the only one that ever got invited. I’d still go by myself no problem … I can make friends easily …
Either way … to get to the mansion you have to be shuttled on. The night of the party pictured above, I don’t know why but I wanted to peace out super early. I’m assuming my ADD just got the best of me and I wanted to continue chasing shiny things – but either way, I walked out to the front and unfortunately it was too early for the shuttles to be ready to take people back.
Me never taking no for an answer, I walked up to one of the guys standing by the super fancy pants cars that got a “drive on” and asked them if they knew what time the shuttles were arriving.
Are you headed back? asked the driver
Yeah. I’m tired, I said.
Are you by yourself? he asked
Yep. I said.
He then motioned over to his friend and said hey! can you give this girl a ride back to the parking garage?
Sure, he replied. Get in.
Seconds later the door to a Rolls Royce opens and suddenly I am in the backseat.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh … I thought.
<tangent> Obvi it didn’t hurt that this was my full outfit …
I sat in the back of the car and quickly made friends with the driver.
What exactly is it that you doooooo?? I replied sheepishly.
Dudes, Rolls are NO joke!!
I work for an entrepreneur.
Must be a tough life! I said laughing.
I’m Jen, I said reaching through the car to shake his hand.
I’m Seth, he said.
He then drove me back, and we swapped digits.
I put him in my phone as Playboy Seth, and he put me in his phone as Jen Bunny Ears.
Flash forward a bit to the days of social media, and we friended each other on Facebook. Low and behold we had no less than 10 mutual friends, and Seth and I have stayed buddies over the years. He’s alwwaayyyssss traveling around the world with his boss, but he’s genuinely one of the SWEETEST guys ever, and genuinely one of the most respected.
Everyone in LA knows Seth.
When I saw his text I knew no matter what it was going to be an interesting party and since I hadn’t seen Seth since I started the site I thought it would be rad to get to catch up.
I ask him if he can add my buddy Amanda to the list, and flash forward to 10pm we arrived at the event.
As we were waiting for Seth outside, Amanda and I quickly realized this wasn’t our scene. I’ve DONE the Hollywood thing for years and years and years. It was cool when I was 22 and completely insecure to get into any club that I wanted to rub shoulders with the rich and famous. At 27 though? I just wanna drink and have fun with my friends.
After we said hey to Seth and chit chatted for a bit, Amanda and I then decided to head over to Dillons where they have cheap booze and cute boys.
As we sat down at our table she says, I really wish some British boys would come over to talk to us.
I then continued sipping my Allagash scoping out the scene.
Not 5 minutes later I feel a tap on my shoulder and hear “excuse me?”
I turn to my right and there are three British male students standing in front of us.
I look back at Amanda … shocked.
Talk about the laws of sexual attraction.
We then gave the boys some tips on where to go in Hollywood and then sent them off on their way.
Students??!?! Jesus …
We then stayed a bit longer talking to a bunch of foreigners and by 1 we were ready to peace in the middle east.
Being the economically savvy chica that I am, I LOVE taking the bus. I said to Amanda, let’s just grab the bus back. My treat.
We then started walking to head down to catch the bus, and about a block south of the bar this homeless man with a white bucket and two drum sticks shouts at us – I GOT WHAT YYOOOUUU NNNEEEDDDDD!!
I’m assuming he was talking about drugs and maybe sex … but either way, not my scene, so we kept walking.
I then hear the beat of the drum, and it’s still behind us.
I turn around – he’s now following us.
Oh fuck, I think.
My mama hen spidey senses immediately kick in and I tell Amanda to keep walking faster.
We then cross yet another block and the guy is still behind us.
I then saw this bar (which used to be Cafe Was), and said to Amanda let’s check this place out.
As we walk in, I see two guys standing outside.
Hi, I say introducing myself, I’m Jen and this is Amanda.
Hi, he says, I’m Eric.
I take one look at him and think … HOLY SHIT it’s that dude from Not Another Teen Movie …
I don’t say that I recognize him though, but I start laughing explaining to him that we are avoiding this guy who is following us.
He then pipes up very loudly and says, there’s a guy following you? RIIGGHHHTTT as the guy was walking by.
Having known the area extremely well, I just say bye and grab Amanda’s arm and say I know the back way out of here.
We then went through the parking garage and out the other side of the alley escaping the creeper mcgee.
I then take out my phone and try and figure out what bus we can take now (obviously wanting to avoid the other bus stop we were walking to).
I pull up google maps and realize shit – the only other stop we can get to is back up to right where we came.
I don’t say anything to Amanda, but tell her that we have to walk two more blocks up and then we are there.
Her feet are killing her at this point, so my bus adventures aren’t exactly winning her over at this point.
We then walk up the few blocks, and sit and wait for the bus which is fortunately just a few minutes away.
As the bus pulls up and we are walking on, this guy stops me and asks if he can sit next to me.
Because my mama hen claws were still out my inner dominatrix kicked in and I said NO! I’m a dominant female. I decide who I sit next to.
I then pay the bus fare for the two of us and we grab a seat towards the back.
The guy then follows us back.
So, does this mean you’re into whips and chains?
Without skipping a beat I reply, only if you beg.
Amanda then starts laughing as the guy got off the bus at the next stop.
We were home minutes later safe and sound, but not without Amanda garnering some blisters and me garnering another epic adventure.
Up next, I’m headed to VEGAS BABY!!!!!!!!!!
I am a strong believer in zen and the art of adventure, so I accepted a date this week from a guy in Vegas. He’s flying me out tonight, and putting me up in a hotel. Incredibly, incredibly generous of him to help me get my mind off of everything, AND I’ll only be gone for about 18 hours. RIGHT when I get off the plane, I have to pop over to a lunch with Antonio, followed by our LIVE STAGE SHOW AT 8PM!!!!! So many adventures, so little time. Rock on everyone!!
SEE YOU GUYS AT THE LIVE SHOW!!! XOXOXO