Totally not kidding either.
It. Was. Batshit.
Here’s the song that goes with the post …
Alrite, lemme break it all down for you.
Sooooo … yesterday, my buddy from middle school was in town, and hit me up to grab a drink. (She and I are both in tech so it was also a work thang.) She was only in town for the day, and had to catch a red eye that night, so I blocked off my afternoon to grab an early happy hour/ dinner and make sure she got back to the airport okay.
I texted her at about 3:30, after my last meeting, and said hey, let’s kick it at Dillons at 4. (Dillions is my FAVORRIITTEEE bar in Hollywood. Dude, $3 beers!! FOR REALS!!!)
I waited a little bit – still didn’t hear anything back – I knew she was in town, and we were still going to kick it, but figured her meetings just ran a little late. Fuck it, I thought. I’ll just go to Dillons to wait for her and grab a beer – I could use a break with all that’s going on right now, and I am still attempting to overcome my social anxiety with being alone at bars.
I hopped on the city bus, and then remember the new location integrated OkCupid app. See, it basically allows me to meet up with dudes that happen to be within my area looking to kick it at the same time I am.
<tangent> UMMMM YES!!! THIS THING IS LIKE CRACK!!!! I fucking LOVE IT! and have SUCH a feeling it’s going to keep me THAT much busier – hahaha!!!</tangent>
I set out a broadcast saying “Drinks at Dillons! Who’s game??”
I quickly got a bunch of replies, and was kinda meh. Some of the dudes were totally hot, but I dunno, I was all of the sudden a bit spooked by the fact that I had posted my location, and said come play to random dudes. I know right, considering I’m a lifecaster … but it was weird, and it kinda spooked me considering the attention I get on OKC to begin with.
Whatever, I thought. I got to Dillons and turned off OKC. Research will have to come later, I thought. This shit is just spooking me too much right now – baby steps.
I get into Dillons and surprisingly the place was PAAACCKKKEEEEDD for 4pm on a Monday (God bless the alchies that are Los Angelinos). I quickly do a lap around the bar before committing to a location, and then finally settle on copping a squat near the front by the door.
I sit down in between three dudes, and order a bud light (I know – lame, but I gotta watch the calories mofo!). Two of them I could tell were together, the other one looked a bit like a whackadoodle noodle and was clearly alone.
Not 5 minutes into sitting down the whackadoodle noodle takes a call and starts trying to convince this woman to meet him. He was some kind of foreigner, sounded like he might be Australian, or English, or something.
::into the phone:: Baby, why don’t you just come here so we can meet. I have a bottle of Andre back at the place. (HAHAHA Andre is like the CHEAPEST champagne ever. That’s like me bustin out with, hey baby – come back to my place – I have some Shasta coke I think you’ll really enjoy. OMG OMG OMG OMG MAKES MY LIFE!!)
What size jeans are you?
I love it baby.
Just come here, I want to see you.
I have fun, you have fun. My bed is big enough for two.
Unable to contain my excitement for the most epic overheard ever – I turn to the two dudes next to me and say, can you guys hear him??? This is like the most epic thing I have ever heard.
They lean into me and try to listen in.
::into phone:: I will make sure you are pleasured. Please baby just meet me.
We all burst out into laughter – the whackadoodle noodle doesn’t even flinch.
Hi, I’m Jen I say reaching out my hand to the guys.
Hi, I’m Justin, and I’m Dallas.
Awesome sauce! Are you guys from around here?
Justin: I am.
Dallas: I don’t have a home, I kinda live all over.
Shut your mouth!!! That’s amazing! I recently did the same thing!! Where was your home base?
Wait, your name is Dallas, and you are from Texas?
Dallas: Yeah, I get that a lot.
What do you do for a living?
Oh, that makes sense – so much inspiration on the road.
Dallas: What was the one thing you took away that stays with you the most about your travels?
That life is reflective. I only meet people that I have like energy with – hence why out of the entire bar, I choose to sit here, near you. Like energy will ALWAYS find each other – it’s universal law.
Dallas: That’s incredible.
We got to talking about life, traveling and all that jazz. Dallas then turns to me and asks, do you want to go for a ride on my friend’s bus? He’s about to pick us up.
What kinda bus?
A painted one – it’s a big school bus that’s for private use.
You mean like a hippie bus?
Now, I was there to meet my friend, don’t get me wrong – but when someone asks you to go for a ride on their magical hippie bus, how can you ever say no?!?!?!
Can I be back in an hour?
Dallas’ phone rings, sure be right there – he hangs up.
Chug your beer, he’s here.
We run outside and very literally on the corner of Hollywood and Vine I run to catch the bus that can’t come to a complete stop due to the sheer monstrosity of it. (This is also why I rock flip flops or vans – heels are not conducive for adventures.)
I literally jump onto the bus, and am greeted by a driver that looked less Otto (from the Simpsons), and more like Rufio from Hook’s illegitimate brother.
Hi! I’m Jen.
Nice to meet you, welcome aboard.
I walk in and they gutted out the bus with love sacs, bolted down recliners and super groovy 60s furniture instead of traditional bus seats.
The guys all start talking, and I began tweeting …
… and taking pictures …
I turn and ask Rufio’s illegitimate brother – so what are your plans for this bus?
Rufio’s illegitimate brother: That’s a loaded question.
K. Can you break it down for me at all?
We want to start this movement for creative expression, and maybe turn it into a reality show or a web show. We have a lot of people involved, and a good idea on where we want it to go.
That sounds really rad, dude. Do you have a social media presence for the bus? And have you started to blog at all?
Naw, but we know this dude that does that.
Dude, you totally have to get on it because no matter what you can at least create demand and buzz for the bus which will provide something tangible to potential investors.
That makes sense.
Gone are the days of “just having a great idea” – people are inspired by action. If it really is a good idea, people will flock to it. It’s the mantra, “if you build it they will come.” You’ve built the damn thing, put in the time and energy to get it up and running – now go tell the world.
Dude, you can even get sponsors and shit. Albeit you’d have to find sponsors with a like message – but the truer you stay to the movement in general the more you are “buying in” instead of “selling out.” People will respect you a lot more.
Do you have a card?
Then my phone started beeping – it was my buddy, she was done with her meetings and was en route to Dillons.
Alrite dude, my friend is back sooner than expected. Mind if you drop me back off at Dillons?
We round the corner, and about 10 minutes later, I am back to where the madness began.
I gave all of the dudes my card and told them to give me a call if they want to talk branding. You guys are crazy, but something like this just might work – I dig it man.
I get off the bus, and run back inside to Dillons to meet my friend.
I sit back down at the bar, this time on the other side – and can’t believe that my life really is this random. Did I seriously just go for a ride on a magical hippie bus at like 4:30 pm on a Monday in Hollywood?
I order another beer as I wait for my friend, and I look up and notice on the other side of the bar this duderino from OKC. Now normally, I am totally game to meet with people – hence why I broadcast everything out … but this guy just gives me the heeby jeebs. LITERALLY every other week, he messages me on OKC or on Facebook chat asking if he can go down on me. No, like literally – he really really really enjoys eating girls out and apparently is on this campaign to get to go down on me. Now, I know I publish my sexual shenanigans all the time, but I actually don’t have a lot of randoms that I hook up with. Yeah, I have a fuck buddy – but it’s ONE fuck buddy. I don’t sleep with multiple guys at the same time, and I’m pretty protective of my punana and who gets access to it. Bottom line: some random creeper saying he gives good head just isn’t good enough for me to want to actually take him up on it.
I sat at the bar and laughed thinking well, he’s got some balls for showing up.
Just then, my friend walks into Dillons. I RUNNNNNN right past the OKC dude to greet her.
SOOOO good to see you, she says.
OMMGGG!! I know!! You look amazing! Welcome to Los Angeles!
I hope I didn’t keep you waiting here, she says.
It’s cool, I totally just went for a ride on a magical hippie bus.
Seriously? She says.
Totally serious – I took pictures and tweeted it out.
Only you Jen Friel … only you.