SO! After my most epicly epic epic date in Santa Barbara, I wound up leaving my iPod in the el duderino’s car. Now mind you, for any normal person that would prolly be alrite – a bit annoying at best, but the world moves on. Me = not normal. Dude, I eat. sleep. and breathe. with headphones in my ears. It’s my thing – I can’t think without music. My iPod is my oxygen, I was ill prepared to be without that lifeline.
The el duderino and I arranged to meet up to exchange the awesomeness. I live in Hollywood, and he lives on the west side; that is FAARRRRRR. Like far far far. Me being without a car, I offered to take the city bus. Dude, $1.50, 1 hour of my time, AND I get to people watch … YES PLEASE!
I caught the 704 to Santa Monica …
Dude, TWO checkins and I’m the mayor? That was easier than a 3rd grader’s math homework. I kick ASS at multiplication and long division!!
I sat down towards the front, because it was rush hour and pretty effin busy. Well low and behold the stop after me, this SUPPPPERRRRRRRRR cutey patootie pants sits down perpendicular to me. See, when you sit up front there are the seats the first row runs vertical, with the following rows all going horizontal. I was in the first horizontal row. Get the mental picture?
The stalking commenced …
I couldn’t HELP but stare at him since my knees were LITERALLY touching him. He was like Hailey’s comet, I couldn’t look away from this once in a lifetime thing!
Dude, I was a foreign exchange student in France. I LOOOVVEEEE me some talking dirty nerdy in French.
(See! Here’s a :33 second conversation from 9th grade French!!)
FRENCH = SO HOT!
THEN … oh no, wait – it gets better …
I got so nervous, that I wussed out, and instead whipped out my Droid to take a picture of him for all of Twitterverse!
OMMMMMGGG OMFG OMFG OMFGGGGG!!! Total #nerdfail!!! WHO LEAVES THE FLASH ON WHEN THEY ARE TAKING A PICTURE OF SOMEONE THAT CLOSE!! BAHHHH!!
And THENNNNNNNN he got off the bus. It was so obvious what I was doing, I feel like he was prolly so in his head with whatever he was working on, that I don’t think it occurred to him that I was hitting on him. Bless his heart.
Got off in Santa Monica, and said what up to the duderino!
ANNNNNNDDDD then he dropped a bomb on me.
His exact words were that he was on a “break” with his girlfriend.
I knew he was in a bit of a gnarly state since we talked about it on the drive back from Santa Barbara, but I literally got so angry!! I was like YO! YOU READ THIS WEBSITE, YOU KNOW WHAT I AM ABOUT. I did a WHOLLLLEEEE post on looking for a Valentine. You read it, made a profile, contacted me, we totally hit it off, and then this gets sprung on me? I kept telling myself not to expect anything for Valentines day since yeah – we just met … but I mean COME ON!!!! I PUBLISHED THAT SHIT AND YOU CALLED TO ACTION. That was like a 1, 2, sucker punch of oh yeah, I’m going to play a sport on Monday, and oh yeah, but don’t worry I don’t want to do anything either for the last chick that I dated.
This kid is amazing … wtf is he thinking?
I don’t even know how to rank how lame that entire conversation was. I just got really quiet, like I usually do when I am thinking really hard. Sad. Sad. Sad.
Alrite, I might live in the land of LA LA (love me some los angeles), but this shit I get. It takes time to get over someone … totally get that … but WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CONTACT ME?!?! I really really really like this dude, like crazy like him – not to the point that I’m picturing having my babies with him … it was one date. I don’t live outside of 24 hours, but it DEFINITELY entered into my mind that oh shit, how awesome that this worked out before Valentines day. I wasn’t expecting a dinner, or anything special … frankly, that shit is overrated. No, lemme break it down for you … I worked in the restaurant industry, it is the busiest night of the year – the service is shit, the people are loud … just have a candle lit dinner at the house. A picnic! Open two cans of coors light under the glow of a Macbook pro. I kid you not, I find meaning in the littlest things in this world; just let it come from the heart.
Yeah – and now it sucks because he’s going to read this and think, oh shit. I don’t really care either way. I think he’s a great dude, but I’m not going to guilt someone into being my Valentine. That’s just … wow, pathetic. I don’t want to get dramatic and say, oh I never wanna see him agian … no I prolly do, just after some time. He’s gotta figure things out with this chick, but I’m sorry, I have no problem calling it out – dude, you’re a dick for creating that profile and not being fully out of a relationship. Whatever you want to call it. I know everything we did this weekend was COMPLETELY effortless, and go with the flow; that’s why it was so rad! I don’t regret it, fuck, the opposite! Best. Date. Ever!
Followed by literally the worst date ever.
Hey, so Valentines day, not gonna do that.
And oh yeah, I’m on a break with my last girl.
So there you guys go. You wanted to know if my life was awesome all of the time. No. ESPECIALLY not when it comes to dating. I literally cannot GRASP how much of my life can be SO BITCHIN yet, have no one to share it with. Lame. Lame. Lame.
At least the adventures will continue … the artist part of me is happy. The nerd in me is sad. Really sad.
UPDATE: Alrite, so I just had an hour conversation with the el duderino … and we honestly squared a lot of shit out. He was upset that he found out that I was upset via this site, but I said very candidly, there was no other option. We had one date, albeit FUCKING EPIC, things take time. I have been feeling a lot of anxiety around Valentines day, since yes, in 26 years – I’ve still never had a Valentine. It was bad timing. No other butts about it. He called to action in the post where I said, hello men of the world, please come find me for a date on Valentines Day. In my head, I accepted that as a strong possibility and went with it. Tonight, when I found out about this investment with this other chick, it was only 1/3 of the story. They have history, and like – history history. So much so, it ain’t my thing to go into … their relationship has evolved to more like siblings, and I have mad respect for that. Love never goes away, it only evolves. Dude, I’m still friends with the guys I’ve dated, and one of them is like a brother to me … so yah! That part I got!
There were a LOT of parts of the story missing, that I didn’t get … and frankly didn’t even feel comfortable saying to him about because of the fact that I didn’t feel like we owed each other anything. If you’ve got something with someone else, rad! Go do your thing, but don’t ask me to let down my guard if there is a possibility of you going back to some other chick. That makes NO SENSE! The admittance of bad timing was accepted by both parties, and I promised him not to post on anything prior to talking to him again. He understood that this was my outlet, and that I couldn’t tell him, because I was afraid to open up like that emotionally. That’s what makes me good at my job! You people are the closest thing that I have in the world. I’m still homeless, but I have a home online … this is my thing. And I love it. I have to figure out a way to let him in, and I’m totally willing … but a lot of things threw me tonight. We promised each other to keep it all day to day, and that if either of us feels this way again to say something.
Honestly, had this been ANY OTHER WEEK in the entire year, I guarantee you this conversation never even would have happened. So, its like either get a Delorean or shut the fuck up! It’s all just about how you roll with it, and we’re going to just play it by ear. He’s a really really really great guy, no BS. I knew 1 and 1 weren’t equalling two, I just didn’t feel it was my place to even say anything. Lesson learned, girl like boy. boy like girl. girl talk to boy when she thinks boy is being a butt. boy presents a very reasonable scenario to girl. girl then realizes boy isn’t a butt. girl still likes boy … a lot.
PS. for the record, he’s still going to do his own thing on Monday. Again, now its weird because I don’t want to guilt him into something. The level of pathetic attached to that is suffocating. I’m not pathetic nor do I desire to have any energy resonated on that level. Just gonna let it be. That is all.