#SuperDuperSadFace: Bye Bye Vans (what Should I Do With Them?)

NOOOOOOOOO!!!

I’m superly duperly sad, man. I went to this fancy pants meeting today with the VC, and he took one look at my Vans and asked WHHHHAAAATTT was up!!!

“Is there toe jam growing in there yet? You have GOT to get rid of those things girl!!!!”

Considering I am fairly hell bent on getting this duderino to invest in our loverly new media production company, I gotta do what I gotta do.

He suggested some ceremonious burning of the shoes … I thought I’d offer it up to the community and see what you guys wanted to do. I think it could be kinda cool if people wanted to bid on them or something and I’d donate the money to my favorite charity Gett Love. Oh oh oh! I just got an email from them today actually!! They’re raising money for this walk for the homeless … look!!!

That would be RAAADD!!! Dude, these Vans have seen some SERIOUSLY awesome shit!!

I wore them on the red carpet for the Oscars.

Danced on stage with Prince in ’em!

Wore ’em trimming pot in northern Cali

Wore ’em to MTV, VH1, Discovery, Lionsgate, Paramount, CAA … literally every meeting I have been to in the last year – I have worn these motha fuckas too. They’re my Vans!!! My babies!!! They are ALLLWWAYYYSSS on my feet. Hence why now, they look the way they do.

Think we can auction these things off and raise some money for charity?? Or just want to donate to help the homeless?? I’m game! You can tweet me – or comment directly on this post.

Click here to make a donation directly, and if you want to win these things – let’s start the opening bid at $5? Seems reasonable for a pair of smelly old shoes that will be written about in my book “A Nerd’s Guide to Being Unapologetically Awesome.” mwahahahaha!! Lmk!! Maybe I’ll even write about the person that buys ’em!! The story is not fully told just yet! Give me some good content, man! It’s for a good cause!!!