<editorsnote> This is really really really interesting to me … so, a week and some change ago I talked to this dude on twitter who had in his bio that he was pansexual. Never having heard the term before I asked him what it was and he tweeted me back explaining it. I was shocked, I’m 27 years old and talk about sex morning noon and night – how have I not heard of this? Well … coincidentally enough, our very own @SaintPepsi also just wrote a post on it breaking it all down for us. I only have one more thing left to say … HIT IT JORDAN!!! </editorsnote>
Two of the girls I have pursued in this life of mine, have told me that they are pan-sexual. In both cases I was a little thrown off guard. I mean I’ve heard a great many definitions of sexuality. Tran-sexual, Bi-sexual, Homosexual, and Heterosexual. All of which are pretty straight forward. Still to hear someone say pan-sexual; well that brings to light a whole new form of sexuality.
To sum it up, it was at long last finally defined to me, “As someone that sees only the person and loves them for that. Without age, beauty, sex, or anything being a limitation.” Truly, you can fall for just about anything. To say you are pan-sexual is to say that you have no idea where your desire lays but you know that when you feel it it could be for anyone.
I suppose this is good for a guy like me. I can be pretty freakish, a bit out there, outrageous, way too honest, and it certainly helps with my age. It strips a person down to just the soul and in that lays what the pan-sexual is looking for. Still I know that there are many other deciding factors to consider. Just because you say you are pan-sexual, doesn’t mean you are able to look at any person and strip them down to just the soul. Who we are and what we do is what shapes us into what we are. So what we are is what anyone falls for. Be it a prevalence of good looks, a pleasant disposition, or availability emotionally. You cannot allow yourself to just fall for someone without considering what all there is on the outside that made that soul shine to you.
So when the last girl I pursued had issue with my age, (Mind you I am 30 and she was 21) I wanted to object based on her self proclaimed pan-sexual status. Truly, a few years difference would not be such a deciding factor as to limit yourself from an entire subset of viable candidates. However, I did not argue because to argue that would be nothing less than dismantling. No matter what form of sexuality you claim; you can never know for sure when you will be swept off your feet or by whom. You can only establish a criteria for what you do find enthralling in another individual. After that you have a decent number of people you can allow to get closer to you. That does not however, rule out the rest of the people from being thrown into your line of sight; like a deer in headlights. So personally, I feel we ought to do away with all terms of sexuality. You are who you are and whom you are attracted to is your own business.
In fact! I feel that it is because we demanded to label all aspects of just how to clarify our sexuality that we have drawn attention from unwanted hateful groups. You need not scream to the world that you are gay, it doesn’t matter. In the end who you are is a part of you and people will either accept that or they won’t. You will rarely change a persons mind as far as sexuality goes. On that note; the same goes for religions, politics and sports for that matter. Had people not demanded recognition for their cluster of like minded individuals they may never have had to deal with now instituted laws against their politically assumed depraved behavior. If the church you go too doesn’t want to marry you because you are a non-contemporary couple then find a church or city hall that will. I acknowledge it isn’t fair that states have laws forbidding such relations. You are seeking, nay demanding acceptance from people whose minds are made up already. To change that won’t be a matter of appealing to the heart, but more so waiting for a generation of bigoted and powerful people to be replaced by more understanding and tolerant ones. It is your acceptance of the natural feelings you feel that will resonate with those that do care about you. Not the screams of ignorance from groups demanding the end of your affections.
It is not our job to convince people to accept us for who we are. Take what people hate most about you or who you are and wear it like armor and no one can use it against you. It is up to everyone else to make up their own minds in that area. So sure, I believe that people are all the forms of sexuality I listed above. What I don’t believe: is that any matter of chants, signs, parades, or petitions will ever change the minds of anyone whom is already firm in their beliefs. The roots of hatred and ignorance grow deeper than most and to uproot those in power who legislate this institutionalized hatred will most likely result in waiting for them to be moved out of office. You can’t just pull up a tree and as much as we would like to think a group of people could it will still take way more effort than you might want to exert for the less than wonderful payoff. The only true power of the people is to act in response to who you are, no matter whom you are attracted to. It is not the world you must keep happy, but yourself. How you achieve that happiness is up to you as well.
So to spin this wild tangent back around to pan-sexuality let me just say this and it’s the same thing I tell my bisexual friends. If you don’t know what or whom you are looking for don’t bother labeling yourself until you settle down and know for sure. Be that heterosexual, Bi-sexual, Homosexual, or even Pan-sexual. Until then you can rest easy knowing we are all pan-sexual. Some of us just refuse to accept that as the path we find ourselves traveling on.
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