#OpenLetter: Dear dudes that are currently trolling my @okcupid account

Hi nerds,

My name is @JenFriel – we haven’t met yet, but apparently my OkCupid profile has been discussed at great length in your thread today. 

Oh, you know the one that I mean … riiiigghhtt here. 

How did I find it? Cause nerds are everywhere man – I got an email about it a few minutes ago. 

He at first sent me a tinyurl – but then I asked him to send me the full link to lessen any viruses. 

I read your shit, and first off – thanks for reading. For reals, all BS aside, on that. Even trolling someone takes time and energy.

1) Yes, I did answer that question this morning on OKC. I’ve masturbated in front of guys I’ve dated before and watched them masturbate. Ain’t no shame in some hot foreplay. Plus, for educational purposes it can really help your partner understand what you enjoy. I friggen LOVE it! 

2) Not a self proclaimed attention whore. I’m actually a lot quieter in person than people expect. What I DID manage to do was to start a business in talking about shit that didn’t suck and products I enjoy by throwing myself at the world for over a year bartering social media to live. 

I’m not a “streetwalker” but I am the daughter of a Hoar. 

For reals, meet my mom … 

Check out her maiden name on Facebook.

True story. 

So streetwalker, no. Daughter of a Hoar? Absolutely – and DAMN proud. 

3) It was only about a year ago that I regularly started talking about sex. Before that the site was about dating, but we were still finding our voice and finding our way around … I love love love talking about dating, and I found a calling when I worked with some of Neil Strauss’ students in the field last summer helping them understand social dynamics. 

I am INCREDIBLY passionate about what I do. This isn’t about sex, and I’m not “selling” things for money. I hustle. morning. noon. and. night.

Sponsors don’t come to you, you have to find them. Especially being so uh, open, with everything – finding the right fit has taken a lot of time … but I’m proud that I have only worked on this site, and this site only for over 2 years now. 

4) You’re surprised 103 dudes wanted to date me? Cool. Sure, I’ll take that. But again, there was actually a compatibility pre-requisite, so if you’re going to at least insult someone in that regard get yo’ shit straight. 

I’m FASCINATED by the notion of transparency and with lifecasting in general. I speak what’s on my mind and all the weird and wonky things that I experience have been able to help out oodles of people all over the world. It’s life lived through a shared experience – it’s pretty rad. 

5) I don’t really get the buck teeth reference … but sure! I’ll go with that too. 

6) You guys want to set up a date and stand me up? Not gonna happen man. As humbly but as matter of fact as possible I get asked out every day on OKC. BUUUUTTTTTT if you do want to figure out a way to trick me, here’s how: 

A) spend time in actually creating your profile. Fill out at least 100 questions, have 3 or more pictures telling me the story of your life. (It is harder for me to tell it’s a fake if you actually put in a little effort.) 

B) When answering the questions, have a separate window open with my account up. See question by question what I have answered and match ’em up. 

C) I don’t have a type, but when it comes to choosing your pictures I get weak in the knees for anyone tall dark and handsome. It’s a thing … goes back to me being 6 and obsessed with Jordan Knight and Antonio Banderas. 

D) Message me picking out one detail from my profile and ask me to elaborate. When I see your percentage ranking, I’ll be surprised it’s that high – and will absolutely message you back. Don’t kiss my ass too much, just keep it real. 

I haven’t really been dating on OKC in the last few weeks, but sure – I’m game for a good challenge. I pride myself in being able to read emails and read profiles, I’d take it as a personal challenge to try and spot you. 

What would my prize be if I do? 

I welcome guys to review me. In fact, I’ll be in NY in a week and a half working with a start up that will actually have people review dates. It’s like yelp for people. I’ve never been more excited for something in all my life. It’s culturally disruptive and is allowing me to learn more about myself by reading what guys have had to say about me. It’s still in closed beta, but trust – it’ll be all over in a few weeks. 

Two years ago, I grew a pair of balls and decided I was no longer willing to be unhappy, and that I was going to go on a fearless search to find my true self. That true self happened to include dating, which all the 103 dates taught me was about myself … so talk about a full circle moment. 

My name is Jen Friel. 

Here is my Facebook. 

Here is my Foursquare.

Here is my Twitter.

I am transparent not out of wanting to “out” anyone or speak ill, but rather for myself to learn, and to grow. 

I welcome you all to do the same. 

Oh, and also just be warned, I recently just took a brick to my head – and survived. Whatever you have for me, I will not only take – but welcome. 

Stay thirsty, my friends. 

#thatisall