#NerdsUnite: Life after being able to spell entrepreneur

So, you’re an entrepreneur, eh? Did it take you 100 spell checks to actually get the spelling right?

Me too.

In the emerging media, digital realm, being an “entrepreneur” has become the newest and sexiest thing a person can be.

Especially, btw, being a female. I can’t TELL you how fast the eyebrows raise when I tell dudes at a bar that I run a website. Best. Pick. Up. Line. Ever. (and yes women need them too sometimes)

WINNING!!

Either way, the cultural ignorance aside, can we please just talk about the emotional effects of being an entrepreneur? For reals – this shit ain’t easy man. From the self discipline, to blinders you have to place on friends and family explaining to them “I just have to do this” … none of this is easy.

I have been running this site now (boot strapping) for just shy of three years. In that time, I have slept in chairs, couches, airports, cars, showered in random peoples’ homes, public bathrooms, eaten beef jerky for 30 days, eaten basically I could afford or barter, traveled all around the country being stranded MULTIPLE times – from the outside looking in, it sounds nuts and obviously SUPER adventurous. What I don’t admit every day is that I am BAT SHIT scared out of my mind.

I genuinely never knew while I was bartering social media to live where my next meal was going to come from, or if I was even going to survive doing it. I just knew in my heart, and I knew in my soul that after spending 24 years in a massive, massive depression I was doing life wrong and that this crazy little adventure made me happy for the first time in my life.

I’ve made a series of mistakes along the way, I’ve had multiple failures, but every.single.time. I got up in the morning and every.single.time. I said, okay, this isn’t working – but what about this? It was only through a series of contstant trials and errors that things started to make sense, my voice started to emerge, and a business was then born. Even if you have a gnarly idea or concept, until you’ve got the figures and traffic to back it up it will always just remain a “good idea.”

The entire scene is maddening – not sexy.

Right now, I am in the process of raising capital. The last week (and even all day yesterday) I’ve been meeting with strategic and private investors. See, the next move for this brand is going to be massive. I have this concept I’ve wanted to do for a while, that now after building out the team and building out the brand relationships it is ABSOLUTELY possible. To grow, I need more people; there is only so much you can grow with having 86,400 seconds in the day and remaining conscious about not burning out.

I now spend a quarter of my day writing, a quarter of my day sending proposals to new sponsors, a quarter with investors, and a quarter still explaining to my parents what it is that I do.

I can’t express my gratitude to you all enough though. I even said in one of the meetings last night that I literally wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you guys. I’d still be writing, I’d still need for my soul this outlet, but the fact that you guys read us allowed this to become a business. You guys grew this brand!! Not me!! I could only place it in social media and hope and pray that it would go somewhere – it was all of you that talked about it, RTed, shared, told your friends.

I am scared … so scared … every day – but this. girl. is. on. fire. and it’s time for shit to get done.

Pro tip: Turn off that little voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, that you’re not worthy and JUST.KEEP.ROCKING.IT!!! If you don’t believe in you, there is NO way an investor, or potential business partner ever will. Everything.starts.with.you. Remember that.

Thanks nerds,

I love you so long time it hurts.

But for reals though, please stop squeezing me. It hurts.