<tangent> Last week was pretty random.
1) I ate a dinner cooked by none other than Patti LaBelle. Independently an AMAZING sentence to write, but to be served soul food from a soul singer while in an EXACT MOMENT I was doing some soul searching … that was awesome. (It’s turkey leg and lima beans … I’m not sure what else was it in, but it all ended up in my belly.)
FYI, I did not season this. I even felt guilty the next morning microwaving it, because microwaves have no soul & I won’t disrespect Patti.
2) I got to FAN GIRL THE FUCK OUT in front of Daniel from GET OUT!!!!
I was at a Patron party and even though he was attempting to be incognito, I recognized him immediately. I very quietly approached saying I loved you SO MUCH in “that movie” using actual air quotes because I didn’t want to say the movie in case other people heard and that would blow his cover. He then put his hands on my shoulders as he kissed me on the cheek.
I mirrored this exact expression.
Now onto the post … </tangent>
I liken my acid trips to a Goldilocks style experience.
The first time (which was accidental)? Too much.
The second time? Too little.
The third time? Just right.
::whispers:: Driver, there will be three stops tonight.
<PresentingStopOne>The first time I took any sort of psychedelic was accidental while attending an S&M club in 2012. I had just started exploring the “scene” and I was told by my friend that if I wanted the “true” experience of being tied up, I should “roll” while I do it. (Roll meaning take ecstasy.)
In my 20s I made it a “thing” to try a drug on each of my birthdays. It felt one part “rite of passage” and another part structured; I’m goal oriented and like to work “towards” things. I would first, pick out the drug I wanted to try, research all of the side effects, acknowledge that this was the year I was going to do it, and then find a suitable party to uh, party on with.
I took the first pill when we arrived at the club, and didn’t feel anything. Knowing from previous adventures in “rolling” I needed two to feel the effect, I asked my friend for the second pill.
Not sure when it was finally going to kick in, I downed some water and OJ before I was called over to the domme for my session. His name is Phoenix, and while I shockingly also found him attractive I questioned his ability and or my willingness to be tied down.
Barely able to keep a straight face, I tried to listen as he went over the “rules.” I do genuinely enjoy being in a sub role, I’ve just had limited experience in the space. I’m smart (debatable), and I’m an asshole; I can’t be a sub if I think for whatever reason I might be smarter than you. (It’s called “topping” in the scene.)
I have a wide range in terms of how I determine intelligence. There needs to be an equal balance of IQ and EQ – which is very rare, which is why I mostly choose to stay single.
<tangent> I actually had my date on Friday say that I have an “androgynous mind in terms of attraction” – and he’s absolutely right. I don’t see people for face value, which is why if you put all of the people I’ve dated in a room, none of it will make sense until they open their mouth. </tangent>
I made mental notes with each of his ties remembering back to my childhood all of the experiences I had as a kid tying and untying ropes to my boat at our lake house. My body felt a tingle as the rope was then tied around my chest. I could feel the compression which was (at the time) both terrifying and relaxing.
Due to barely listening to the rules, I missed the word that “began the scene” (although he did tell me to motion with my hand three times if I needed to get out- that I do remember).
Without thought my body was slammed down on the bench and as my chin hit the cold plate I began ROLLLLLLIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG harder than I had ever experienced.
Spread eagle and now hog tied, Phoenix hit my hide until it was raw, pacing each pat to the beat of the song Kiss by Prince. (Note to nerds: make sure you wear cute underwear if you want a life experience like this.)
As I looked out at the crowd, to my surprise, the lyrics appeared in a pinkish/ purple neon color as if written out on an imaginary teleprompter. As someone who commits to something, I wasn’t willing to click my wrist three times to go home, but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t fully freaked the fuck out.
I had experienced a lot of weird shit, but seeing something that my mind logically knows isn’t there was definitely new. Not only had ecstasy had never caused me to feel this way, but I immediately assumed I must be on some sort of psychedelic. I only knew that because when friends had done them previously they made this exact comment …
EVERYTHING WAS SO COLORFUL!!!
Barely able to speak, I was then released from the ropes still rolling … HARD. I only knew for sure one other person that had taken the same pills that I had, so I walked over to him looking down at my phone (for what I’m not sure). As I moved my screen, a rainbow appeared and each of the avatars began “moving.”
WOAH, I said to my friend, who didn’t need to say much to confirm that he was seeing everything that I was seeing.
After everything was said and done, it took a full 24 hours for the drugs to get out of my system.
You can click here to read the original post, and the follow up post, where I talked about what actually happened a few years later. I had nothing to hide, but didn’t know how easy it would have been for other people in the story to be tied to it (pun intended). I’m always very protective of my friends.
Looking back, I technically speaking should have been mad at my friend for not telling me that I was going to also be doing acid that night, but now all I can do is smile. It was definitely the hardest I’ve ever “rolled” and while it was not fun having the contents of my stomach expel like the Exorcist, I can definitely chalk this life experience up to, yep, I did that, and lived to tell this story. </stopone>
<PresentingStopTwo> Last October, I was hanging out with a friend of mine from the building. (I live in a Melrose Place style atmosphere where everyone is ridiculously attractive and we do genuinely all get along and hang out. Unlike MP though, there is no drama which also unfortunately means no Locklear.)
Either way, my friend Sam said that he was heading down to our neighbor’s apartment to have happy hour before everyone went out for the night. He knows how much I love Halloween, so he suggested
showing up in costume.
Don’t threaten me with a good time, I thought going into my goodie bag emerging mask and all.
I attempted this year to go with an overall arcing theme for every party (I had about two weeks worth). At first, I was going to wear this one blazer and rock it in COMPLETELY different ways, but that ended up not working. Upon receiving an invite to a mandatory masquerade party, I flipped the traditional mask and bunnied it out.
This was the original costume …
This is what I showed up in, which was surprising that they actually opened their door (because I said nothing other than knock) …
The pre-party was poppin, and the girls looked FIEERRRCEEE as a super hot Thelma and Louise with their beaus dressed as both Brad Pitt’s character and a cop.
I was off helping in the kitchen with the food when the oven started smoking (they obviously had crumbs or food cooked on the bottom). Here, I said, let me go cook this in my oven that way we can let the smoke go down.
You’re awesome, she said as I hiked it back to my place.
Walking back into their apartment, the hostess’ beau (aka Brad Pitt) asked if I wanted to do acid with them. Surprised, I took a moment to reflect on what I had wanted to do.
See, in Q4 last year, I decided I was ready to get married and have babies. Not that I still couldn’t drop acid being married and having kids (just not supervising them while on acid obviously), in general I wanted to make sure that my actions were aligning with my intention.
I then caught a glimpse of my rabbit ears in the mirror (forgetting I was even in the mask). “When in Rome,” said the rabbit choosing to go down the hole.
If I do this, I said to myself, I’m in it to win it. No Irish goodbyes (as is my MO I never say goodbye I just leave).
He then tore off what looked like a little piece of paper as he asked me how much I wanted to take. Since my girlfriend and I are about the same weight, I said …
Have you done this before, he asked?
Yes, I said but only once and it was accidental.
He paused for a moment in confusion as I explained that I took what I thought was E (and it was actually a candy flip).
I was then instructed to let it melt on my tongue, and the second it dissolved, I stopped drinking entirely. I had no idea how acid was going to effect me and like a good nerd, I wanted to isolate the variables.
I was then informed that we’d be heading to a house party, so we all piled in two ubers and headed some place not in the hills. (When I commit to something, I don’t really ask a lot of questions.) While I knew the group, I was in general in a quieter mood and wanted to truly experience what this life experience would be like. Friends kept telling me that I’d love acid, and at this point I had also tried shrooms, so if it was anything like that – I’d be super okay with life.
We pulled up to this big craftmans style home, and a very active party. I separated myself from the group choosing to do a lap before committing to a location.
I made into the backyard and as I went up the windy steps, I saw this sign …
As I took a turn to the right (there was no option to go left), I saw a group sitting and chatting. I knew I recognized two of the people at the party, but I couldn’t put my finger on whether they were famous or we were acquaintances at some point. Not saying anything, I just sat down as I started to feel the effects of acid.
I don’t know how to describe what it’s like to be on acid as anything other than feeling a “oneness” with yourself and your environment.
I experienced a euphoric calm and while I naturally don’t give a fuck, when I’m on acid, I apparently give every fuck possible … about absolutely everything.
“Bunny,” said one of the guys I thought I recognized, “what do you do?”
“I work in tech, and my life’s being turned into a TV show,” I said without a breath or thought.
“And just like that, ladies and gentlemen (he said to the group laughing), the quietest person at this party also happens to be the most interesting.”
I had no idea how long I was up there for (time feels different on acid), but sometime later, someone started bitching about Uber and LYFT. It wasn’t what they said, it was how they said it. The complaint was rooted in sheer entitlement, and this bothered my acid minded self.
Without an ounce of aggression, I presented a different side of (whatever mundane argument I had now acidmindedly … I mean absentmindedly involved myself in) by providing a history of both companies.
Uber and LYFT both back in the day, would give bloggers promo codes in exchange for promoting the service. Back in 2012, when I first started using them, I also didn’t have access to a car, but did promote them so much that John Zimmer (LYFTS CEO) invited me into the office for a visit. Their strongest numbers (at the time in terms of downloads for new users) was the day after the city of Los Angeles placed a ban on the service. The coverage of the ruling was turned into a full page article and a WHOLLEE LOTTA free press in the LA Times.
I then took a breath and realized the group had now doubled in size and I am speaking very passionately to an audience that I don’t know, nor do they obviously care.
I immediately toned it down 10 notches, and laughed saying to the group, “so, I’m on acid and I’m going to get some more water. Does anyone need anything?”
Slow your acid roll, Friel, slow your acid roll, I said walking down the steps.
I had no idea who the host was or who anybody was, so the last thing I wanted to do was be disrespectful to my neighbor who obviously (or at least I hope) knew someone.
Once inside the house I found a dog and immediately went back to my happy place.
A few minutes, hours, or whatever later, I wound up back in the kitchen getting some more water. As I went to go and find my friends I was met by one of the guys that was witness to the great debate (he was one of the gentlemen that I thought I knew).
What’s your show about? he asked.
It’s Talk Nerdy to Me. Bruckheimer and CBS had it initially but I’m repackaging it (which has since completed read more about that here).
I KNEW I KNEW YOU!! he said. I recognized that voice!
Jen Friel, I said shaking his hand.
I’m Pat, he said
<tangent> It’s Pat, I thought, hehehe. https://www.youtube.com/embed/q6u3Cicg4-U?wmode=opaque
I’ve heard about you, he continued!! This is so great!!
Let’s take a picture, I said.
I knew you looked familiar, I said. You’ve got to be in the nerd community.
I am. I have a radio show and I’ve been on Star Trek. (You can have a listen here.)
We then talked about Stan Lee, a handful of his favorite comics, and before we parted we swapped Facebook friends requests to keep in touch.
I really appreciate the read, I said as he went in for THE BEST BEAR HUG EVER – feet off the ground and all.&n