#NerdsUnite: 35 and single - now what?

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet by buddy Jeff. We met on twitter a little while back, and then over Christmas I helped him revamp his OKC profile. He’s now here to talk to you about his life outside of the programming world. I only have one more thing left to say … HIT IT JEFF!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover’s @Jtwebman

I had been dating the same girl for just over 6 years and we just broke up, well a few months back now. Before you go aww sorry, we just were not meant to be together for life and we both agreed. We were very open with each other and talk about everything even up to the end where we decided to split up a few months back. It wasn’t easy but it was one of the nicest breakups I have ever had and the compete opposite of the break up with my x-wife but that’s another store. It just came down to after 6 years being together it was time to ether make a life together or not. Well maybe that should have been around the 3 year mark but we enjoyed each other and yes she was a hottie. Sorry ladies but us guys are very visual and it was one of the reasons I had not broke it off earlier. Now don’t judge me she was well pleased as well, and I am not just talking about the bed room, or I am sure she would not have stuck around.

So right after our break up conversation it hit me, wow I am 35 years old and single again. At first it was a liberating feeling but then it hit me I had dropped almost all my friends. Well not totally but we had moved from San Diego, to Houston, to Seattle, and ended up in Colorado. I had no friends in Colorado besides the few couples we hung out with. So my first goal was to get out and meet new people. I work from home so I do not have work as a avenue to meet new people so I have been going to meet-ups and just being more social in general, not sure why I stopped.

It has been a hard transition. I am not your normal talk about sports and tv kind of guy. I am a nerd and have been since before it was cool to be nerdy. I would rather be programming on some cool project on the side, or making a cool YouTube video, or connecting with people on twitter then to be watching sports or TV. I am so nerdy that I haven’t even had cable TV (or a TV) in over 8 years, thanks Netflix and Hulu. So finding small talk things with others is a big challenge for me. Instead I try to find what makes the other person tick, though sometimes I think I ask to many questions.

Now the second thing is I need to get back out there talking to women again. I talk to the ladies that work at the coffee shop I sometimes visit but I had not been out picking up women in years. I thought it would be like old times and I would pick it up like riding a bike. Man I was wrong, I was bombing out in just seconds of saying hi. I am not one to quit easily and know failing is always the best way to learn but these ladies look at me like Luke looked at Darth Vader when he told him he was his father. Maybe I am exaggerating a little, it might just be that I am sending the wrong thing via body language but hey I haven’t been single in 6 years. It is going to take some time to not be nervous around a cute women. The one thing that has help over the last few months has been to think of that song from Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming…” but I change it to, “Just keep smiling…” 🙂 It works!

About 2 month ago Jen opened my eyes to OKC so I made a profile to check out what this online dating was all about. It has been fun but I wasn’t having much luck getting responses. Then Jen wrote about it, blowing my mind away. She does that a lot doesn’t she? She let me look at my profile in the way a women would look at it. She even helped me re-write some of it and it has been like night and day. I get far more responses then I did before. Thanks Jen you rock!

Well this is where I am today. I still have a ton to work on including losing 40 more pounds but I just need to keep trucking up the hill. Is there any other guys or gals out there having a hard time getting back into dating again? Anyone have any good suggestions for use nerds as I am all ears?

I want to thank Jen for open my eyes to life-casting. It was so refreshing to see you gals and guys just talking about your life and not just the easy things ether but real issue you are going through. It got me thinking how much I enjoy writing and making videos so I plan on doing just that. I figure there has to be other guys and gals in the same situation as me and there is always strength in numbers. Thanks for including me into your community!