Little Black App: Craig Clemens

Meet Craig …

This is his About Me on Facebook – and I quote …

Entrepreneur, writer, speaker, and several other cool things ending in “er”. 

I know my way around a sushi bar, a trendy bar, and a dive bar. 

Moms love me and so do dads, brothers, sisters, and uncles. 

I invented neck kissing in 1986, spooning in 1993, and forking in 2001. 

I have been to many different countries, of which my favorite so far is the Valley. 

17 different girls have fainted from me kissing them on the hand. None of the 17 have washed their hands since. 

I have absolutely perfect eyebrows. 

Every time I go to Yogurtland I put in too many toppings or too many flavors and fuck it up.

The left side of my face is in the Guinness Book Of World Records under Awesome. 

Despite the pleading of thousands of women and gay men everywhere, I have never ever once sported a whipped cream bikini. 

I try my best not to use the phrase, “LOL”

I can fly in ALL of my dreams. It’s pretty cool. 

I get earthquake-paranoid when in a parking garage.

If I had good credit I would finance myself some calf implants. 

At my house every day is a snuggie party. 

Mmmmmm Craig, I’d love to root your sarcasm deep in my lovely lady bit. Rawwrrrr …. I’m not feeling like myself today, do you mind if I feel you instead? 

Meet Craig and other hot nerds here: