#TrueStory: How I got away from predator Ron Jeremy (and how you can protect yourself too)
When I first wrote about this story in 2010, I wrote about it from the perspective of, holy shit – this guy is a total creep, but it’s also RON JEREMY!!! ::questionmark???!!::
I was ONE phone call away from being among the group of women who were strong enough to come forward with their stories here:
Here’s Ron in my apartment …
I used taking this picture as a tactic to distract him and with the help of a friend, got him out of my apartment.
Hopefully, you’ll never be in a position like this, particularly with someone who leveraged the fame he had as a “position of power” … but if you are, here’s what I did to get myself out of it.
Back in 2008 (ish?), I was asked to be in my neighbor’s short film.
Brett and Kat were my wonderful neighbors in our Hollywood apartment building (that I moved into after I lost everything I owned in a massive cockroach infestation – I am proud to be a content creator that will never run out of content.).
He asked one day if I could help him with his short film (a question you get asked a LOT living in LA).
“Not a problem,” I said. “What’s the role?”
“Well, it’s for the role of Ron Jeremy’s girlfriend. We’re hoping to get Ron, Gary Private (another resident) is good friends with him.”
Gary Private was our old neighbor’s actual name, and let me just put it this way, he’s friends with Ron Jeremy – that should say enough about Gary.
Either way, as someone who considers themselves a pop culture historian, I knew very well all about Ron’s (truly) iconic representation in media.
He had done shows like the Surreal Life, and was even immortalized regularly in rap, and rock songs.
He was EVERYWHERE in the late 90s early 2000s. While his “star” was definitely on more of a decline, there was still no denying his cartoon like relevance.
While I still to this day have never watched his “body of work,” he was known as this larger than life uh, “personality.”
<tangent> When I was growing up people like Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson were actually considered more “mainstream” than anything else. They were both worshipped in heights other porn stars had never reached before.
If Ron were at a club and showed up, the party would be considered lit 🔥 by today’s standards. Like lit, in terms of funny lit. Not hot lit.
Like the time Dennis Haskins aka Mr. Belding from Saved By The Bell would show up at the club. It’s weird, yet funny enough to tell your friends about the next day (after you’ve posted a selfie about it in your stories). </tangent>
Here’s a quote that I relate to describing his vibe at the time: “As though someone playing up their lewdness for laughs couldn’t be capable of actual inappropriate behavior. But it’s become clear that an ironic predator is still a predator.”
$1,000 cash exchanged in an envelope later (I was there when it happened), Ron was now on our building rooftop, as I prepped to film the scene.
I haven’t ever watched the film, but being neurodivergent, I have a photographic memory and remember very specifically the next parts.
I was wearing a black bra and a school girl skirt (also seen in the Snorg Tees ad that was still selling up until a few months ago. 13 years is a good run for a skirt that cost less than $20 accompanying a shirt that costs just over $20).
My line was to open the door and (out of breath) and to grab Ron and have him come back downstairs.
I was, how do you say in today’s language …. “the token hot chick.”
Thankfully times have changed, but it was what it was and took maybe an hour out of my afternoon.
Besides, I am a HUGE FAN OF POP CULTURE so this was fun for me to get to say I “hung out with Ron Jeremy!!!”
I had previously met him at the Playboy Mansion the year prior, but that was just a quick “can I have a photo?”
We filmed the scene, as I was successfully attained the privilege to say “I hung out with Ron Jeremy!!”
A lot of times independent films never see the light of day, so I didn’t have a lot of expectations after that.
I was happy to have a new sentence to add to my life experiences, and concurrently help out my neighbor at the same time.
Considering Ron’s original line of work I wasn’t going to lead with “I played Ron Jeremy’s girlfriend in an independent film.”
I filmed the scene, put my shirt back on (which was no more skin than what I reveal at the beach), shook Ron’s hand and went about my day.
Less than a half hour later, I hear a knock at my door.
I looked through the peep hole and was shocked at what I saw.
“Open up, sweetie, it’s Ron,” he said.
Production had told him which apartment I was in without my knowledge or consent.
Now, I know he wasn’t there to knit a sweater, but I was just TOTALLY gobsmacked that he was there … outside of my door.
The person behind the lyric to Sublime’s “Caress Me Down” and “Get Naked” by Methods of Mayhem, was now on the OTHER SIDE OF MY STUDIO APARTMENT DOOR.
I froze for a minute, unsure of what to do.
The lock on the door was locked, but still, Ron knew I was in there.
This is when you hear victims talk about being “so shocked they freeze and just do what they are asked.”
I did open the door, but first, I opened up my Verizon LG Voyager, and texted my neighbor Katie.
“Ron Jeremy is at my door, and I don’t know what to do. He knows I’m in here, can you please come up and help me?!”
She quickly responded back yes …
… as I opened up my apartment door.
“Hi honey,” Ron said like he owned the place walking over to the kitchen/ bar area pulling items out of his pocket.
“I meant to give this to you,” he said placing rolling papers, and miscellaneous items with his face on them.
He did this btw to qualify the reason why he was in my apartment.
Predators do this to lower your guard.
I was now VERY AWARE that I was alone with Ron Jeremy in my apartment. Ron who btw is rocking sweatpants and crocs … uh, as if this moment could get any worse.
Seconds later, there is another knock at the door.
(Katie only lived a floor down and to say she beelined it upstairs would have been an understatement.)
“Oh, that must be someone from production” (I played stupid).
I then opened the door with a heavy sign of relief to my very attractive neighbor, Katie.
Ron is now thrown off and confused but also went to “I didn’t expect a threesome, but here we go.”
Katie (who is also very smart), started asking him questions and declaratively sat in the only chair (outside of my computer chair) inside my teeny tiny studio apartment.
“Katie, do you mind taking a photo of Ron and I?” I asked walking over to my desk to grab my camera, and consciously breaking any potential physical contact with Ron.
Predator Ron, did not like that.
As I handed Katie my phone, (she remained in the chair to also set a physical boundary) she took this photo as Ron pulled me STRONGLY.
Look at my face and body language.
This photo is not the same as this photo …
I intentionally turned my body into Ron in the second photo.
In the first photo, I’m visibly super freaked out because Ron pulled me into him.
Ron used the photo op as an opportunity to FORCEFULLY reengage physical contact.
He apparently also had a marker in his pocket, as he reached into his pocket, while lifting up my shirt, grabbing my breast by the nipple and proceeded to “autograph” my breast.
Something I did not ask him to do.
Now, that alone is considered sexual battery.
He then took my hand and placed it on the outside of his super gross sweatpants so I could feel his third leg.
Katie (very smartly) then stepped in (orally) and said “Jen, we gotta go take the dogs out.”
Our dogs were best friends at the time.
I don’t know what was going through Ron’s head at the time, I was only VERY HAPPY to not be touching his other head.
What he did with my hand is also considered sexual battery.
Jolting back into MY OWN head, I knew Ron had to go, and go faster than he uh, came?
Everything that happened, happened very quickly. This is what predators do intentionally – to catch you off guard.
I was in what is called fight or flight.
It’s a triggered state (which is a response to something that is perceived as stressful or frightening). Ron was/ is a very frightening man disguised as a cartoon character.
It’s obviously known NOW what a predator Ron is, but at the time his “power/ fame” was just as overbearing as his physical self.
He knew how to use “what he had” and was EXTREMELY forceful at getting it.
Had Katie not been there, there was no way I would have been able to force Ron off of me.
I was too shocked, and he was too strong.
Safety in numbers is real.
The two against one strategy worked because it caught Ron off guard. I read the testimony of the witnesses and Ron would (sometimes but not always) isolate his victims before attacking them.
It was just me, and my 6lb dog – I was prime prey. I have (what I call) heightened levels of situational awareness, hence the call, but still. I was young and in shock.
Katie and I tipped the scales back in our direction, as he pondered if there was a threesome in his future (something he did not consider before coming into my apartment as Katie wasn’t on set with us).
Ron remained confused which bought us enough time to convince him to leave.
I grabbed Rocky’s leash as Ron tried one more time to get me to do what he wanted.
“I have this thing tonight, honey, if you’d like to be my date. It’s a movie premier.”
(In LA, I’m sure that line worked a lot for him.)
“Let me give you my number,” I said using the marker he just used to autograph my breast.
I gave him my real number, unsure if he was going to call it immediately “so I had his number as well.”
Which at the time was more of a “hey this is faster than me writing this down for you,” but also now looking back, I would also consider that borderline predatory.
I didn’t ask for Ron’s number – I didn’t want it. My literal bottom line in this scenario was to convince Ron to leave my apartment as quickly as possible.
Giving him my number worked as we yet again told him we had to leave to walk the dogs.
Not having any more “tricks in or outside of his massively massive pockets inside his super gross sweatpants” … Ron left.
The sad reality is there are a lot of people out there like Ron.
He got away with what he got away with for SO LONG due to his fame and to be THAT FORCEFUL meant he had done it countless times before, and most likely countless times after (until his arrest in 2020).
Look how similar my story is to one of the victim’s statement in court:
Katie being home, and coming upstairs so quickly prevented me from being yet another victim of Ron Jeremy.
Technically speaking, he did grab my breast, but what would have happened had she not been there would have been FAR worse based on victim’s testimony.
I can’t think about what would have happened had she not been there, I’m writing this because I’m proud that we not only stood up to someone in a “position of power,” but we were able to use our wits at a time where our might (physically) might not have been enough.
Thank you, Katie for your strength, and sisterhood.
Also, fuck you Ron Jeremy.
I should have known you were a jerk after you swore on your mother’s grave and backstabbed Vanilla Ice.
Shesh … predators these days …
While I write in jest, please know what happened to me was very real, and very serious.
I don’t know why I didn’t press charges, I was again, just so shocked by it all.
I don’t judge or shame myself for it, therapy and drugs related to PTSD have helped me a lot.
I write this for anyone else who is in a similar situation and feel muted by either the other party, by their own fight or flight, or by their state’s statute of limitations.
In my case, I would have had two years to report the assault based on California Code of Civil Procedure §335.1.
I wasn’t ready to write about the severity of what happened until I saw him arrested.
I get to release my story with the knowledge that he will never be released from his own incapacitated mental state.
PS, and just for a frame of reference, this is the original post, and an example of what “unprocessed trauma” looks like.
Speak your truth … at your own pace … on your own timeline … I feel SO much better now writing this out.
Want to support AMAZING peeps and buy some real estate in Vegas?? Shoot me a DM on the gram and I’ll connect you to my girlfriend Katie (currently pending consent to link to her website).
Talk Nerdy To Me ™ Founder | Genius
My truth is (actually) stranger than fiction
Late-diagnosed #ASD & Projection #synesthete