SOOOO!! I just got an email on OKC from a dude looking for a one night stand …. check it out!
I have to admit, I’m kind of not mad at this email.
I know the societal pre-disposed response should be … FUCK YOUUUU!!! How DARE you think of me as a ladyyyy like that!! OMG OMG OMG OMG FUCK YOU!
Want to know my response?
I kind of felt like congratulating him – because he’s right! I only didn’t congratulate him because I genuinely didn’t want to lead him on … but he got it! Sexually speaking, I’m unbelievably submissive.
Dudes, I run a business and play in boys clubs all day every day. When it comes to sex and dating, LET ME BE THE GIRL!!! Take the lead … don’t ask me where I want to go, what I want to do – I just want to be with you! So surprise me with something. Dinner … movie … whatever, just be the dude, take the lead and let me shut off my big brain.
Guys don’t seem to get that about me, and it’s SOOOO FRUSTRATING!!! When it comes to business I am VERY aggressive. I have ZZEERRROOOOO problem grabbing shit by the balls and taking charge. That’s business me – personal me, wants to be taken to a nice dinner then thrown around, fucked up against a wall – whatever, use your imagination – but you get the idea. Let me be the chick, man!!!
But yeah … back to the actual email and the notion of a one night stand in general – I’m not mad at it. I’ve done it in the past (chicago … anyone anyone …), frankly half of the last 2 years have been spent waking up in weird random places (and documenting). Now however, I have been making conscious decisions to not do that anymore. (YAY for no more casual sex!!) It’s shallow, and really doesn’t get you anything other than awkward stares on the bus in the morning, and a pair of cranky pants from not getting any sleep.
The truth of the matter is guys, women aren’t mad at having a one night stand, you just have to catch her at the right time! I know all of my friends have done it, and at a certain time and place in your life – they’re not a bad thing! Very honestly, had I been attracted to this dude, and had it been 6 months ago, I prolly would have taken him up on it. We’re animals, man. We need food, water, and sex to survive – it’s a primal instinct, and to deny that is inhumane.
It has a time and a place, and based on the sheer odds that this guy is being so direct in asking – chances are, he’s gonna get it.
Mazel tov duderino!!! Cheers to your orgasm, now excuse me while I go and watch this video of a woman freaking out over a sperm whale’s penis …