Fun With #OkCupid: A Dude In The OKC Corral (The Apocalypse Opener)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Kenny. We e-met through OKC and although we’ve never gone out on a date, he was inspired by my documentation of my online search for love, that he wanted to come on board and provide male insight into OKC. So here you go … and now we’re here … HIT IT KENNY!!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover’s @casetines

Sex.

There, now that I’ve gotten your attention…. Sexual Intercourse. It’s something that we think about on a daily basis, the dominating thought of many people. How dominating? Well, there are different opinions on the matter of how often men and women think about sex.

Some people believe that men think about sex “every seven seconds” but that appears to be a misnomer. The number ranges anywhere from once per day to 19 times per day to “every 52 seconds” but the general message here is this: Men think about sex a lot. They think about it more often than women. Men and women’s different hormones are the root cause of the differences in how each gender thinks about sex and how often. But women still do think about sex, perhaps anywhere from 1-10 times per day, if not more.

Of course, each person is different but we can speak in generalities and ignore the extreme outliers of the hypersexual women and the women that are not interested in sex, like the ones that I always seem to find.

On my blog I recently asked the question “Ladies, What If A Guy Just Straight-Up Asked You For Sex?” I have always been fascinated by the differences in how men and women think about sex and as I have gotten older I have learned that we are not as different as I thought. However, the two sexes still have notable differences. Ask a group of men that same question and you will obviously get a much higher percentage of answers that will result in sex. Women are much more turned on by mental stimulation than visual stimulation. Men are turned on by seeing two over-sized cantaloupes resting on top of a banana.

Still, that doesn’t mean that women don’t think about sex or that you can’t catch a woman in the right environment at the right time. From writing that article, I was led to a “pickup method” known as The Apocalypse Opener. I don’t use any tricks to pick up women. I don’t think that I want to start. However, I’ll be damned if it’s not interesting or that I wouldn’t use The Apocalypse Opener just to see what the hell would happen. I love sociology and seeing how people interact with one another under different circumstances, and I can honestly say that I would love to see this method put into action. How does it work?

It’s pretty simple.

Man: Hey, how’s it going?

Woman: Pretty good.

Man: What are you doing tonight?

Woman: I don’t know.

Man: Do you want to come home with me tonight?

Woman: (Stunned)

And that’s the whole idea of The Apocalypse Opener. You just ask a woman if she wants to come home with you. Tonight. Before you’ve gotten to know each other. Is it smart? Here are the Pros and Cons as I see it.

PROS

It’s pretty damn ballsy. Women admire confidence and if this line is delivered without a hint of trepidation, then it’s pretty confident to just go up to a woman and ask her to sleep with you right off of the bat.
It’s honest. If you are only talking to a woman because you want to sleep with her but then feign interest in The Cold War Kids for 45 minutes, you’re just being a bullshitter. The Apocalypse Opener is at least honest.
It’s different. Women get hit on all the time in bars. Being different is almost never a bad thing and now you’ve got her full attention.

CONS

Almost every con I can think of is not so much in the method itself so much as it’s in the delivery. Are you being creepy? Are you half-assing it? Are you laughing through it? Are you coming off as cocky?

It’s all in the delivery, as far as I can tell. Is it creepy? Well, that depends. On paper, it does sound like it can be creepy. Now imagine it being said by Ryan Gosling or Will Smith, both of whom have played womanizers in movies but been billed as “hunky leading men.” If you are in control of the situation and say it straight-faced, then at least you’ve gotten her attention, which is always “Step 1.”

If she says no, then your only reply is “Okay.” You’re not disheartened, because you were ready for that and because you’re not a desperate sex maniac. (Unless you are a desperate sex maniac, in which case I’ll see you at the next meeting.) However, The Apocalypse Opener isn’t necessarily finished when she says no. In actuality, the idea isn’t that she drops her panties and comes home with you at that instant. All you’ve done… is open.

Later on in the night, you’ll be that guy that said that crazy (but confident) thing to her. She might tease and flirt with you later, “Hey, did that line work on any girls yet? LOL.” It’s really sort of like asking a girl if you can buy her a drink, except it’s ballsy, honest, and different. I don’t use pick-up lines and I’m looking for a relationship (which will NEVER be formed if it starts with The Apocalypse Opener) but this is concept is so damn interesting that I have to see it in action at least once in my life.

Girls aren’t new. Most of them already know that guys want to have sex with them. Sometimes, they also want to have sex with guys. Even if girls think about sex at a fraction of them amount that guys do, they still do think about sex. Especially when it’s time for the Apocalypse.