Friday on Twitter, I tweeted out that I was starting to seriously consider dating a guy with a foot fetish just so I could get my feet rubbed. See, I just got back into jogging and now between all the walking and jogging that I do my feet get SO FREAKING SORE by the end of the week.
What I didn’t expect from that single tweet however, was the OVERWHELMING response from dudes asking if they could rub my feet.
Kinda creepy, I know, but the more I thought about it the more judgmental I realized I was being over the entire thing. This is just one dude’s turn on, boobs and butts are an equally big turn on for a lot of other dudes so if I tweeted out – hey who wants to rub my rack, I GUARANTEE you the response would have been the same if not greater.
BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS!
This got me thinking … what really goes into a foot fetish? And who are these people?
Moments later I then got a very sweet email from a reader explaining that he was elated I was so curious, and since he lived in LA he wanted to see if we could meet up.
He was incredibly up front with everything, and said that he’s had multiple masters in the past and is really into humiliation. All he wants me to do is ignore him while he rubs my feet.
Now, I am personally more of a sub when it comes to sex, so to be the dom in any capacity intrigued me.
This is obviously WAYYY outside of my comfort zone, I thought, so this could be a really cool learning experience.
Here’s the actual email explaining his history …
Because you’re interested in having me massage your feet, and intrigued by foot fetishism in general, I wanted to tell you about my foot fetish history.
For as long as I can remember, I was preoccupied by women’s feet. When my parents female friends would visit the house, I would stare at their feet. I was equally obsessed with the feet of girls my own age. I have always loved women’s feet. And my submissive impulses were already there as early as 3 years old: I had fantasies of being a butler, a servant. I had one babysitter who would plop down on the couch and I’d bring her drinks and snacks and she would rest her feet on my face while she watched TV. Good gig for her. But I was happy: I needed feet in my face – even back then.
By the time I was actually kissing girls and fooling around, the fetishism and submissive tendencies were completely buried. It’s interesting to note that VERY EARLY ON, i realized this was considered to be weird and taboo. So my sex life was normal through my teens.
My junior year of college was the first time I lived away from home and had access to the internet. And I immediately began exploring my fantasies on line. This was the late 90s and the internet was new to me.
I looked up foot fetish and BDSM porn and I realized I wasn’t alone in my desires. I had also found a book in Barnes & Nobles called “Different Loving.” It was a sympathetic view of power exchange / BDSM interactions with many personal essays. It shocked my system: I read almost the entire thing right there in the aisle. But I still felt intensely shameful. I felt like a creep, like a loser. And of course, there are plenty of people out there who would say that foot fetishists are indeed creeps, losers, or worse (is this online? – just look at the comments below).
Fast forward a few years. I had moved to New York City. And much like I responded to your foot fetish / I want my feet massaged post, I wrote an email to a professional Dominatrix who lived in Manhattan. We arranged to meet. I went over to her “studio” where she conducted her BDSM sessions. We discussed my interests. And long story short: she made me her “houseboy.” This wasn’t a professional arrangement. I wasn’t her client. This was a personal, Mistress – slave thing. For over 5 years – FIVE YEARS ! – once a week, I would go over to either her studio or her apartment, sometimes both, and clean for her. I would run errands. I would give her massages. And she would reward all of this service by allowing me to worship her feet. The arrangement ended when I moved out here to Los Angeles.
I’m still in touch with my former Mistress. And she was instrumental in encouraging me to be honest with my current girlfriend. Instead of being secretive, I was able to be honest and up front about my desires. Listening to the Savage Love Podcast didn’t hurt either: I could hear Dan Savage calling me a “piece of shit asshole” if I tried on the idea of going to see a Dominatrix behind my girlfriend’s back – and he would have been correct to call me that. So after years of shame and secrecy, I did the unthinkable and came clean to my GF. I told her that I have a foot fetish, that I have the desire to be dominated by other women. And I explained that this was a compartmentalized impulse, distinct from the romantic love & sex we shared.
Guess what: She completely understood and gave me her blessing. It was life changing. Someone I loved more than anyone in the world was accepting me for who I am.
It made something that I admit is weird feel more normal. Everyday, since my girlfriend’s acceptance of me, I’ve felt more healthy, true, and peaceful.
My biggest epiphany was that this was really about humiliation. I’m someone who requires humiliation to feel sexual. So someone ordering me to pick up a coffee or dry cleaning and then allowing me to get on the floor and pamper their feet while they relax or work – that really does it for me.
BTW: you can wikipedia this shit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_humiliation
I hope all of this intrigues you. Let me add one more thing….
It’s really, deeply upsetting that foot fetishists or people into BDSM or whatever are considered to be FREAKS. If you googled “foot fetish” or did a key word search in twitter – I’m sure there are people saying tons of negative shit….
You can’t choose what gets you off. There are kids killing themselves because they’re gay and they’re in environments where being gay is shit on, where they’re told they’re going to burn in hell, or that they’re just plain freaks: sexual shame is seriously intense. I bet a lot of the people who are quick to shit on foot fetishists, calling them freaks, or leaping to an even more absurd presumption that they’re dangerous – I bet a ton of those people would be quick to be like, Of course it’s OK to be gay! Meanwhile, not realizing that people who have foot fetishes are just as hurt and shameful and often closeted because of their desires. There is an absolute parallel.
(And look: I have to admit that foot fetishists do creepy things. But I believe this is a result of being closeted and desperate. I get that there’s a reason for this reputation. I guess I’m just saying it’s a shame.)
So you have no idea how grateful I’ve been in my life to meet people who are like: Let me get this straight: you’re going to worship me like a Goddess, I don’t have to say thank you or even be nice, and in return all you want is my feet? GREAT. It is pretty fucking great and mutually rewarding if you have an open mind.
This is long. I could say a lot more. But I hope foot fetishism continues to intrigue you and that you see it can be pretty cool.”
How awesome is that? I want a dude to run my errands and worship my tired running feet!! I don’t even know if I have cute feet? I mean, I know they’re super small and have high arches (which is apparently a good thing) but who knows, maybe this will increase my value as I can say I not only have a solid rack and a butt but some seriously epic toes. I am 27 years old, at this stage in the game – I am pulling out ALL stops to bag me a boy.
He’s down for me documenting, so I will be updating you all as this adventure unfolds and give an extremely honest approach to what it is like to be around someone with this kind of fetish. What happens if I end up dating a dude with a foot fetish? Would I be grossed out? Who knows! Might as well find out my boundaries now.