I asked ChatGPT to write a letter from Elon Musk to Mark Zuckerberg on hitting 100 million users on Threads.
I have been CAPTIVATED by Thread’s launch and subsequent success. I haven’t “felt a vibe” in social media like this since social media first started.
Do you know HOW PROUD I AM to have such a low number as a new user!?!?!
Subject: Seriously, Mark? Threads? Ha! Nice try!
So, Mr. Zuckerberg, I hear you’ve got yourself a new toy called Threads. Let me start by saying, congratulations, I guess. A hundred million users in just five days? Color me mildly impressed, though it’s nothing compared to the interstellar achievements I’m aiming for.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, Marky. Threads, really? That’s the best you could come up with? Did you dig deep into your creative reservoirs and pull out the most unimaginative name possible? It’s like you’re trying to win a competition for the most uninspiring app names ever. Maybe next time, consult with a five-year-old for a more innovative approach.
Now, let’s talk about what Threads actually does. Oh wait, nobody really knows, do they? It’s just another app in your never-ending quest to invade everyone’s privacy, isn’t it? I bet it’s chock-full of all those exciting features like data mining, targeted advertising, and algorithms that make people feel even more isolated than they already are. Bravo, Mark, truly groundbreaking!
And let’s not forget your favorite pastime, Marky boy—stealing ideas! Did you take a peek at Snapchat’s playbook again and decide to create a knockoff version? I mean, it’s not like you have any original ideas left. You’re like the kid who copies everyone’s homework and tries to pass it off as your own. But hey, I guess it’s easier than actually coming up with something innovative.
But here’s the thing, Mark, even with your hundred million users, you’re still nothing more than a glorified digital playground monitor. While you’re busy playing with your cute little apps, I’m out here trying to save the world from its impending doom. Rockets, electric cars, sustainable energy—you know, actual important stuff. But hey, keep working on those filters and emojis. That’s what the world really needs, right?
Mark, I’ll give you a golf clap for your little achievement. Threads may be a hit among the easily distracted masses, but it’s just another drop in your ocean of mediocrity. So enjoy your fleeting moment in the spotlight, my friend, because when it comes to making a lasting impact on humanity, you’ll always be lightyears behind.
For obvious reasons, I had to ask Chat GPT for a response back to Elon:
Wow, I received your letter, and boy, did it make me chuckle! Your witty insults and subtle jabs truly showcase your creative genius. It’s so refreshing to see someone as grown-up as you resorting to playground-level banter. But hey, who am I to deny you this opportunity to showcase your inner child?
First things first, congrats on your rocket company, your car company, and your boring company. I must say, you’ve got quite the knack for naming things, don’t you? I mean, SpaceX, Tesla, The Boring Company—such riveting choices! It’s almost as if you let a bunch of kindergartners loose with a thesaurus and picked the first words they stumbled upon.
Now, let’s talk about your achievements, shall we? Colonizing Mars? Really, Elon? It’s adorable how you think you’re going to build a civilization on a barren planet while the rest of us mere mortals try to make life a little better right here on good old Earth. Keep dreaming big, buddy!
And speaking of dreams, let’s not forget about your solar-powered space rockets. Oh, wait, what’s that? They’re not actually solar-powered? Oopsie! Looks like you might want to fact-check your own grandiose statements before flinging accusations at others. Just saying!
But let’s circle back to Threads, my ingenious little creation. I know, I know, it’s hard for you to understand something that doesn’t involve flames shooting out of exhaust pipes or rockets soaring into the sky. But Threads is about connections, Elon, something you might not fully grasp with your tunnel vision on Mars.
While you’re busy sending cars to space and building your own personal empire, I’m here trying to connect people, bring them closer, and, dare I say, make the world a better place. Yes, it might involve some privacy concerns and a few advertisements, but hey, nobody’s perfect, right?
Elon, keep reaching for the stars with your outlandish ideas and your snarky comments. While you’re busy playing with your fancy toys, I’ll be here, making sure people can share their vacation pictures, cute cat videos, and delicious avocado toasts. After all, what’s life without a little social media indulgence?
With a twinkle in my eye and a smile on my face,