Dear Twitter, you're DOING TWITTER WRONG!!!!
Alrite, I am about to let it rip ... and it ain't gonna be pretty ... so uh, just sit tight.
Looky looky the email I just got from our wunnerful friends at Twitter:
First off, lemme just say - I LOOVVEEE me some Twitter. Seriously, we get it on so hardcore, it should be illegal. No joke, loves it. I just sit there so many times and wonder WTF are the founders of twitter doing? Do they USE twitter?? Then I have to sit back and think, okay, I understand, and can empathize about being "too close" to something. Please take this Biz, Ev, and Jack, as a completely outsider's perspective coming from a nerdy chick that really likes your shit.
That being said ... this was the worst email ever. Seriously. Who wrote this?
1. Where's the branding, first and foremost?!! How am I to believe this even came from you guys without it?
2. I love that you guys enabled the links in the email to actually go to the "who to follow" on twitter ... smart ... but the people you're suggesting to follow are all celebs, or people that DON'T FOLLOW BACK!!
Twitter is a communication tool, an ongoing conversation happening in real time across the world. AHH-MAZING! But celebrities SUCK as it! So, STOP SUGGESTING THEM!!! They don't @reply back, or follow!! They just sit there in their own little world, tweeting the most mundane details of their lives. Albeit, a select few actually do twitpic rad behind the scenes pics and what not ... however the MAJORITY of them are too caught up in their own little world. Not hating, but what's the value in that for the end user?? We want to be TALKED TO! ACKNOWLEDGED!! We want our tweets to be RTed ... we want people to talk WITH us, not talk TO us. If you keep telling all the newbie tweeters to follow people that will never reply back to them, they will never truly understand the value of twitter and what makes it so unbelievably AWESOME!
Screw following celebs, here - my names @JenFriel ... I'm not a celeb, just a nerd ... and you know what, I'll follow you back and talk to you!! Tweet me.
3. You mention a hashtag in this email, but you don't even say wtf it is, let alone offer some sort of example or clickable link?! Do you have ANY idea how many times a day I have to explain to people what a hashtag is?!
Do you guys know what a hashtag is? Here is the simplest explanation I give to people ...
It is for aesthetic purposes the pound sign (#) in front of a word or phrase that enables it to be a clickable link connecting you in real time to all of twitterverse. You don't have to be following a person, or have them follow you to view the hashtag, it is automatically enabled, and viewable as long as your tweets are public.
Look, our TNTML official hashtag is #nerdsunite. Wanna talk to other TNTML buddies about what's happening in your world? AWESOME! Add #nerdsunite to your tweet ... click it ... and read away! Here's what's going on right now:
I love you Twitter. I love you so so so so so soooo much, it's not even funny. I just cannot BELIEVE that the powers that be have STILL not established value in the public's mind!! Really, you have to REMIND people to check back to twitter??? The conversation should be poppin off so much, they can't live without it!!
Value. Value. Value. Please twitter, establish some value.
#thatisall
